Game Five: Boston Celtics vs. ummm.....
The Boston Celtics showed up ready to play. Against who, I couldn't tell you.
Don't get me wrong, I was at the game. I just didn't even realize there was another team out there. Sure I noticed individuals... Josh Smith (a nobody on a weak team) risking injury to one of the league's finest point guards (Rajon Rondo), Al Horford flexing his bicep and staring at it after making a "clutch" play (to bring his team within just 18 points with about 4 minutes left in the game), Zaza-whatever-her-name-is actually crying... yes, crying as she walked into the tunnel after the game, and who could forget the three players from the other team with whistles who called countless non-fouls and questionable defensive three-second calls against the Celtics.
After a couple unfocused games, the Boston Celtics are back playing championship-caliber basketball and look ready to absolutely embarrass that other team when they travel to wherever for Game Six.
And yes, I'm ready for all of the complaints that will be sent my way from fans of that other team the Celtics played last night. I don't respect them... it's unfair that I call Zaza a chick (even though she is a little bitch)... or I should focus my distaste against a "better team".
All I have to say to that is:
1) It's not my fault your J.V. squad made the NBA playoffs, blame Commissioner Stern, not me.
2) You're right, I don't respect your squad.
3) Yes, it IS unfair that I call Zaza a chick (what have women ever done to deserve such an insult?).
4) Finally, you don't have to worry, I'm ready to focus my distaste against a better team...
Let's finish Game Six fast so I can watch some playoff basketball.
Warning: This piece is the author's attempt at humor. Any and all Atlanta Hawks may (and probably should) be offended by this article. Attempts to take my comments seriously will result in hurt feelings, realizations that the Hawks' season is over, and Zaza-esque crocodile tears.
comments (10) write a comment »
write a new comment
2 months ago
YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH BABY HELICOPTOR!
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Shocking-dialogue-Zaza-Pachulia-suspended?urn=nba,63269
2 months ago
ummmm, this article would be extrememly funny if the team thats so bad hadnt actually won two games against these mighty celtics. i live in ga, im a hawks fan, and i expected to get swept by the boston three party. If i were a celtics fan id be worried going forward because the celtics showed some weakness against a team they should have made an example of.
2 months ago
Great aritcle, Tim. I totally agree with your point of view. When the Celtics are on top of their game, they are a championship caliber team!
2 months ago
you were at the game? i'm jealous. I'm hopin to get some tickets for a few games when I get back from school for the summer. and the al hordford bicep flexing thing.....i was thinkin the same thing as i watched him run up the court doing that.....dude! you're down by almost 20!....just shows the immaturity of this young team.....they have talent, they just need time...and an attitude adjustment
2 months ago
I agree-
I think the Hawks the Celtics experience will overcome the Hawks athleticism and youth...Celtics will hammer them tonight
2 months ago
man this article is soooooooo funny considering the hawks won tonight again! celtics will win game 7 at home but no way they can be nba champs losing three games to my hawks. lol.
from 2 months ago
haha Bryan, I'm glad you found it "sooooooo funny"! Last time I checked the Celtics don't need to win a single road game in order to take the trophy home. They're fine, and just underestimated a bad team who has risen to the occasion better than the C's expected. Sure they didn't pay the Hawks enough respect, but then again... winning 37 games doesn't exactly warrant respect.
But I can't take it away from the Hawks, they've played well. If they started Childress they'd actually have a shot at winning this thing. Personally though I can't wait until Zaza cries in this series.... again. Also, somebody should warn Josh Smith not to bring any handguns to strip clubs because he's got the attitude of all of these young kids with too much money who end up shooting up innocent people at strip clubs at 4 in the morning. Also, it's been disappointing to see such a promising young rookie (Horford) who might have been robbed for ROY honors, act like such an idiot throughout the playoffs. Hopefully this is just because the kid is young, but that whole bicep flexing thing when your team is down double digits just makes you look like a complete moron.
2 months ago
I can see Andrew your not from around these parts, cause we thuggin down in the "A". I think the only chance our hawks had was the fact that they essentially have acted like a bunch of hoodlums during this series. We are probably going to lose by 25 in game 7 in Boston but who cares? the damage has been done. The weaknesses have been exposed. The Celtics can be rattled, they seemed to forget what they were doing down the stretch, and Ray Allen never saw a three he didnt like. I just cant see a team going 7 games with the hawks and then winning the title.
2 months ago
Funny thing happened Andrew, our season ain't over yet.
2 months ago
Celtics EXPOSED and going no where!
write a new comment