The Carlos Zambrano Witch Hunt: Day One

(Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

Where do we begin with Carlos Zambrano?

The Chicago Cubs are in a downward spiral of futility that has last year's 97-win, best-in-the-National-League franchise fighting to stay above .500 as July begins.

Every change the team made in the winter has backfired, and the blame game is in full swing at Wrigley Field.

This week's favorite target is Zambrano, the overpaid, underwhelming, should-be superstar who comes across as being, as my grandma says, "unhindered by deep thought."

His big league career is full of ridiculous news items.

There were the reports a few years ago that he was staying up all night on instant messenger services, talking to friends and family in Venezuela. This was causing stiffness in his forearms, which in turn took away from his pitching.

So, they bought him a nice gel pad for his wrists to rest on while he's telling mom about his latest implosion.

Then there were the issues he had with dehydration.

Ironic that the guy who was forced out of games with cramping because he didn't drink enough would later have a Russell Crowe-Gladiator moment with the Gatorade machine in the Cubs' dugout.

There have always been the temper issues.

In fact, most of us that like to play Pitching Coach from our couches know that Zambrano has lost more games because of what was going on between his ears than what was happening on the bases.

If "Big Z" doesn't get a strike he wants or needs, get the kids in the car and run for high ground.

The fiesta/debacle that was Sunday’s game against the crosstown rival White Sox is a perfect example of Zambrano's stinkin' thinkin' destroying a game.

And the last thing you need to give Cubs Hater No. 1, Ozzie Guillen, is an easy way to make someone in the red and blue look like an idiot.

Zambrano was apparently angry with Scott Podsednik's approach at the plate, so he drilled him. What happened then was nothing more than the Sox mocking Zambrano without doing a thing.

Podsednik would then dance off first and draw a handful of throws, obviously frustrating Zambrano.

When he finally threw a pitch, Alexei Ramirez got a waist-high layup and deposited it into Souvenir City.

Zambrano would then stew some more, and (eventually, between innings) the Cubs would rest a pot of coffee on his head for warming.

Now the gloves have come off in Chicago.

On Sunday, ESPN's Gene Wojciechowski pointed out the obvious: Cubs' manager Lou Piniella was ruling the crazies with different rules.

In his article, he points out that Zambrano received a "talking to" after going Chuck Norris on the Gatorade machine, while Milton Bradley was excused for the rest of the day and called a piece of...yeah.

Then, Monday, it hit home.

The Chicago Tribune's nationally syndicated baseball writer Phil Rogers gently threw Zambrano under the bus, and then proceeded to give a 16-year-old driving lessons over him.

In his article, Rogers offers a solution for Zambrano's antics: Put him on waivers, and let anyone who wants him make an offer.

So, this is what it's come to in Chicago.

The Carlos Zambrano Witch Hunt has begun.

I'm going to submit that a lot of the media's (and Cubs fans') issues with Zambrano start and end with his salary-to-production ratio being laughable.

In August 2007, Zambrano signed a five-year, $91.5 million extension. While his career numbers (100-64, 3.49 ERA) are good, his postseason numbers (0-2, 4.34 ERA) leave a lot to be desired.

But it isn't Zambrano's overall numbers that are the frustration.

It's his inability to lead.

What has clearly come into focus this summer is that this Cubs roster is in desperate need of leadership. Last year, veterans Kerry Wood, Mark DeRosa, and Jim Edmonds, along with Derrek Lee, were accountable to the fans and media for the team's performances.

The only one of those players left is Lee.

As general manager Jim Hendry dismantled last year's team, he placed the responsibility to carry this team to the playoffs for a third consecutive season squarely on the shoulders of Zambrano, his ace.

Zambrano has not handled the pressure well.

I am not going to go as far as to agree with Rogers’ assertion that Zambrano needs to find a new address, but I will agree with both Rogers and Wojciechowski that someone needs to give Zambrano more than a slap on the wrist.

He needs Piniella, Hendry, or a veteran player like Lee to slap him through the end of puberty and fast-forward him to his actual age, 28, where he should be able to conduct his business like an adult.

Until Zambrano grows up, he'll never be a leader.

Championship teams' aces are leaders.

If you've taken the ACT exam, then you know where I'm going with this...

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