20 Weird Things Twitter Taught Us About Athletes
Before Twitter turned "verbal diarrhea" from a controllable threat into a full-blown pandemic, social media apps had the well-known capability to turn a perfectly lovely human being into something else entirely.
Whether giving into the impulse to over-share or using social media networks to gain an unnerving amount of knowledge about a love-interest, our computers—and now smartphones—gained a formidable ally in their campaign of regret.
With Twitter's surge in popularity, foot-in-mouth (or would it be phone-in-finger?) disease became more infectious and can now be spread at the speed of broadband.
What truly separates the app from others is the incredibly awesome presence of celebrities, including star athletes.
And while their ability to interact so directly with fans, media and each other is very cool, it's obvious athletes aren't immune from the same Twitter-borne diseases we are.
Not only is this fact entertaining to gawkers like me, but it means fans and reporters sometimes see the person behind the media facade―and it ain't always pretty.
Here are 20 of the weirder things Twitter has recently told us about athletes.
Donte Stallworth Is a Newsroom Superfan
- @DonteStallworth: I’m having a GREAT time on the set of one of my favorite shows, #NewsRoom!!!! @HBO
- @DonteStallworth: I’m so sad #Newsroom is coming to an end after this season… I’m glad I got the opportunity to be on set. @HBO [two thumb’s up emojis]
- @DonteStallworth: I’ve been on set since 1130am and I don’t want to leave!! [two teeth-baring emojis] this is too cool to watch the production of the show. #Newsroom @HBO
- @DonteStallworth: I definitely have a better appreciation for the work that goes in to making a great show like the #Newsroom. I’m still here by the way lol
- @DonteStallworth: Ok NOW I’m leaving the set of #Newsroom… I could feel the spoiler coming, so I have to jet out. Thanks again bro @ThomasSadoski!! [a-okay emoji]
Athletes are always tweeting about the shows they watch and the movies they see, but former NFL wide receiver Donte Stallworth's undying love of The Newsroom definitely elevates him to fanboy status.
Jared Odrick Also Has an Oversimplified Plan for MLS & Tim Tebow
- @JaredOdrick98: You want Americans to watch soccer, tell the MLS to give Tebow a job. He’s a one stop shop for all types of American demographics.
Dolphins defensive tackle Jared Odrick proved he has an overly simplified approach to understanding the marketing needs of MLS and evaluating the athletic capabilities of Tim Tebow. And also, besides religious white male, what other American demographics does Tebow cover?
Jared Odrick Has Really Specific Driving Rules
- @JaredOdrick98: I like waiving to ppl who have confederate flag license plates. No seriously, I waive.
- @JaredOdrick98: If you’re texting while driving AND have D-Bag hair….I’m honking. No questions asked.
If you're in the Miami area, steer clear of Jared Odrick on the road—he's got a lot of arbitrary rules. The consequences of breaking these ones are fairly innocuous, but things could escalate if you're texting while having D-Bag hair and rocking the confederate flag plates.
Kam Chancellor Has His Own Day in Norfolk
- @Kam_Chancellor: Not to many people have their own day in Norfolk, VA. I’m blessed to say that I do. #GodIsGood dedicated to excellence!!
Cities are always giving celebrities stuff like this: holidays that nobody gets a day off for and keys to the city that don't unlock anything in the city. If they really wanted to honor Kam Chancellor, they should've bought him a boat.
DJ Swearinger Is Intense About His Hydration
Unfortunately I'm unable to post Twitter photos within a slideshow, but if you click that link you'll see what I'm talking about. The Texans’ DJ Swearinger has a refrigerator filled with Gatorade and Pedialyte. When did water lose top billing for hydration needs?
Evan Mathis Is Really into Selena Gomez
- @EvenMathis69: I’m listening to @selenagomez’s new album while playing Candy Crush. Thug life, b*tch.
- @EvanMathis69: My wives are so cute. @selenagomez @imtheminibeast instagram.com/p/fol_SWnxJ8/
Big football player. Teeny, tiny Disney princess. What can I say, it made me laugh.
Emmanuel Sanders Is an Ant Guy
- @E_Sanders99: What’s ur favorite bug? I’mma ant guy… RT @Marquis_98 c’mon man I’m a bug fan #FollowMeE
Broncos wide receiver Emmanuel Sanders engages with his followers an awful lot, so I’m always learning weird bits of information about him. And even weirder bits of information about his followers.
Ha Ha Clinton-Dix’s Roommate Gives Strategic Dating Advice
- @haha_cd6: Roomate told me I need to date a white girl [heart-eyes emoji, white lady emoji] lol
- @haha_cd6: He said once you go white everything Alright. [cry-laughing emoji, white princess lady emoji]
The advice given to Packers safety Ha Ha Clinton-Dix is strategic in that 86 percent of Green Bay’s population is white. No other demographics even break four percent.
Chris Paul Is Still Holding a Torch for Kelly Kapowski
- @cp3: This is easily one of the best Bday gifts I’ve ever received in my 29yrs on this Earth!!! #KellyKapowski #My1stLove #WeWereTogether #SheJustDidntKnowIt #CuzImSavedByTheBell
Chris Paul's very public declaration is further proof that no one was immune to the spell cast by Ms. Kelly Kapowski. That's some powerful magic.
Paul Bissonnette REALLY Hates Arsenio Hall
- @BizNasty2point0: I’d rather watch every season of Everybody Loves Raymond than one episode of the New Arsenio Hall show.
Coyotes forward Paul Bissonnette recently quantified just how much he hates the (recently cancelled) Arsenio Hall Show, using another show he also hates. I appreciate the assessment, but something tells me he’d be regretting that decision a few seasons into Everybody Loves Raymond.
Adrian Clayborn Experiments with Condiments
- @AJaClay: Ever tried peanut butter on ur burger!? [four tongue-out emojis]
Of course, that implies that peanut butter is actually a condiment, which it isn’t. Buccaneer Adrian Clayborn wasn’t just asking arbitrarily, either, this is something he actually did—and enjoyed.
Justin Harper Has Terrible Taste in Moves
- @Tru_Harp32: Anchoman 2 was funnier than the first one to me
Former NBA player Justin Harper, who is currently playing overseas, tweeted this head-scratcher not too long ago.
Shane Loux Has a Real Issue with the Prius
- @shaneloux: So on my bike ride tonight I rode up on a dude who got hit by a car (he was okay) and guess what kind of car? Wait for it….yup, a Prius.
- @shaneloux: “@WallaceIsBeast: @shaneloux I’d buy a Prius!” Unfollow
Giants pitcher Shane Loux is seriously adverse to the Prius. This is something he’s made well known enough that followers routinely tweet anti-Prius propaganda to him, which he then retweets. Maybe an ex-girlfriend of his left him for a Prius.
Tony Jefferson’s Dog Is out of Control, Maybe Suicidal
- @tonyjefferson1: Ok. Well Goodmorning. Ya anyways my dog ate my cables? Like literally ate them? And threw it all up.. Like wtf?! Starting to question is IQ
- @tonyjefferson1: My dog ate like 6 eggs I had on the table .. With man . So funny I’m starting to get extremely fed up
- @tonyjefferson1: So I come home and my dog is just swimming in the pool. But he’ll never get in when I’m in. Sucha goblin
- @tonyjefferson1: My puppy must drank some got dam vodka, I know dam well with a sober mind he know not to get on my bed. This creature is laid out on my bed
I’d be lying if I said the health and well being of the Cardinals' Tony Jefferson’s dog hasn’t become a concern for me.
Julian Vandervelde’s Bowel Movements Sound Intense and Distressing
- @BatMandervedle: Theme day number 2: Some people see Jesus in toast. My morning poop looks like Slimer from Ghost Busters. Happy #TMITuesday!
- @BatMandervelde: Ever since I started my yearly herbal cleanse I have been taking the most determined, concentrated, definitive poops of my life. #TMI
Eagles offensive lineman Julian Vandervelde is actually one of my favorite athletes that I follow on Twitter, but this is your classic overshare. It’s actually one of those rare overshares that leave you wanting for more information. How do you say something looks like Slimer without a visual demonstration?
Ty Lawson Thinks All the Dudes Are Warm for His Form
- @TyLawson3: I feel like a girl when I leave the house… Dudes always trying bag me … Talking bout let’s get up later.. And hang out ..Nosssssir!!!
It’s hard to know if Nuggets point guard Ty Lawson is exaggerating or if the gay community in Denver is really that into him. He could also just be imagining the whole thing, mistaking friendly invitations from fans for sexual advances.
Ty Lawson Is Really into Apple Sauce
- @TyLawson3: This is random… But I love apple sauce
Why yes, that was random.
Spencer Paysinger Recently Had Those Things Implanted in His Nose
- @SpittyP: These have been implanted in my nose for the past week. A surgery I’ve needed since childhood Finally… instagram.com/p/ogXmQGjDYK/
Giants linebacker Spencer Paysinger recently had those horrifying things implanted in his nose, and then for some reason he had them removed.
Bruce Irvin Has Bad Luck with Stinky Strangers
- @BIrvin_WVU11: Riding in a über and the driver is musty as sh*t riding with my head out the window like a dog
- @BIrvin_WVU11: So the furniture dude asks to to use the restroom I tell him yes and he takes a dump and has the whole hallway stank! Should I say something?
Bruce Irvin's followers offered plenty of opinions on the hallway stank, but unfortunately he didn't follow up by tweeting his course of action—or inaction.
Metta World Peace Is Passionate About Dirt
- @MettaWorldPeace: How can you enjoy the earth’s gifts and rewards no matter what? So many times we look at dirt as a bad thing.Take another look. Understand it
- @MettaWorldPeace: Sorry, but if u like fruit like i do, dirt is cool with me. Its all on how u look at it.
Honestly, I guess it would be weirder if Metta World Peace wasn't passionate about dirt. It's weird when he isn't doing or saying something weird.
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