Hewitt's Fans Cause Wimbledon to Be Played Behind Closed Doors (Satire)
Officials at the All England Club have announced that in the future Wimbledon will be played behind closed doors. The shocking move comes hours after Lleyton Hewitt’s fans were in a typically boisterous mood on Court No. 2.
The fanatical Australian supporters, who broke into song at every change over, plagued Hewitt’s fourth round encounter with Radek Stepanek. Consequently, after repeated incidents, the group of approximately ten people were given a stern talking to by authorities.
This year’s competition will be unaffected by the new policy, but next year's will be the first All England Championships played in front of no fans whatsoever.
A spokesperson for Wimbledon said, “We didn’t want to make this decision, but something has to be done about fans supporting players in this manner.”
The decision has undoubtedly surprised many spectators, particularly the small Australian contingent that seems to be the cause of this debacle.
One of Hewitt’s fans stated, “I can’t believe it. We weren’t doing anything. At the Australian Open there are fights and we get treated like kids for singing a few songs."
“They’re just jealous of us. We make twice as much noise as the people watching Murray and there are 15,000 of them. The Brits obviously can’t take being second best to us Aussies, so they have decided to ruin it for everyone.”
It is believed that the groundbreaking move will improve the morale of players, who tennis officials think are incapable of performing when there is noise in the vicinity.
Another Hewitt supporter added, “Of course these guys can play with a bit of noise going on. If they get distracted and miss-hit a shot the worst that happens is they lose."
“I was watching the darts the other day. The crowd is constantly making noise there, and I don’t think I need to tell you that one slight mistake by a darts player and it’s possible someone could lose more than the match."
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