It wasn’t Floyd Mayweather Jr. or Marcos Maidana.
In fact, it wasn’t even Robin Leach or Robert Garcia.
Instead, when it came to Saturday’s premiere of Showtime’s second All Access: Mayweather vs. Maidana episode—prior to its “Heavy Hitters” fight broadcast from Carson, California—the best line of the night came from, of all people, veteran family tree actor Marlon Wayans.
“What person that speaks Spanish are you going to beat up on this time?” Wayans said.
Though it doesn’t give Maidana—the reigning WBA welterweight champion—the credit he deserves for the status he’s earned, the query from the A Haunted House 2 star does illustrate the basic storyline of each of the docudrama’s three incarnations since Mayweather signed with Showtime 14 month ago.
And as it was for Mexican wannabes Robert Guerrero and Saul Alvarez preceding him, the tale being spun for Money’s rugged Argentine is one of a back-to-basics father wading into the pool owned by the flashy, opulent and unapologetically brash five-division and pound-for-pound kingpin.
“Why not have the finer things in life,” Mayweather said, as he toured former Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host Robin Leach through a palatial Las Vegas residence complete with a pair of $1.6 million Bugatti automobiles. “A million a month for the rest of a person’s life, I don’t think that’s too bad.”
Meanwhile, when the narrative cut to Maidana, it found a fighter who was mouthing from a similar script—albeit with perhaps a tad less confidence than his ultimately beaten predecessors.
“If I win this fight, I will become No. 1,” he said, in a statement that was more noticeable for the conjunction at the start of the sentence than the nine words that followed.
“I’m already on the dance floor, so I have to dance.”
If self-assurance is truly an issue in April, it’s likely that disaster will be a result come May.
Fortunately for Maidana, the remainder of the episode was enhanced by the presence of trainer Robert Garcia, whose certainty of his man’s triumph was reminiscent of the multiple weeks he spent on HBO’s 24/7 show chirping that fellow charge Brandon Rios would vanquish Manny Pacquiao in China.
That one didn’t work so well for the Oxnard crew, but even Rios was around to pile on the wordy heap.
“What you did to [Adrien] Broner, you’re going to do the same thing to Mayweather,” the former 140-pound champion said, draped in a sweatshirt that stretched over a body that appeared poised for life as a middleweight. “I don’t pay to see fights, but I got a ticket for this one.”
As usual, Mayweather seems content to spend cash on more gaudy trinkets.
He and a noticeably bloated Leach spent some guy time talking jewelry, ties and sunglasses, too, and sat down for a bit to fondle a table full of diamond-encrusted dog tags estimated at $5 million.
“I’m like a kid in a candy store,” Mayweather said. “Fly, flashy and flamboyant. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. It’s all about having fun. I like to be spontaneous. Whatever I feel like doing, I do.
“But I’m still working hard like I don’t have a dime.”
Whether 30 more minutes will convince another million folks to pay $75 to watch on May 3, who knows?
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