The Goofiest Sports Commercials

Nick Dimengo@@itsnickdimengoFeatured ColumnistApril 27, 2014

The Goofiest Sports Commercials

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    Screen Grab

    Here's a tip to all companies out there: If you want to get consumers' attention, get a high-profile athlete and have him do something funny.

    Don't believe me that the strategy works? Just take a look at some of these goofy sports commercials that get mad respect for being effective for doing just that.

    They might not always make sense, but I bet they put a smile on your face.

Freedom Tubz

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    So this commercial featuring former Olympic swimmer Mark Spitz might not be knee-slapping kind of humor, but it's so cheesy that I couldn't help but mention it.

    I've watched this numerous times, and each time I can't help but think that it's some sort of Saturday Night Live parody.

Gold Bond Spray

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    Anytime a company can get Shaquille O'Neal to shimmy like the way he does after spraying himself with Gold Bond, it's goofy.

    You can see the full commercial here—but trust me, the most epic part is when Shaq acts as if the spray is the best thing to happen to him since making a few free throws during his playing days.

Verizon Wireless "Maternity Ward"

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    Hockey fans are a different kind of breed, so this Verizon Wireless ad from a few years back shows just how crazy they can be—even in a maternity ward.

    I'm not sure if a fan would really do something like this, but seeing how nuts they go when anything comes up against the glass during a game, I wouldn't put it pass them, either.

Foot Locker "No Rings"

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    One of the newest commercials on this list, star guard Damian Lillard of the Portland Trail Blazers might not have a ring yet, but he reminds a few former legends that he at least still has a chance to wear one.

    Bringing together former great players like LaDainian Tomlinson, Barry Sanders, Chris Webber and Karl Malone, Lillard just keeps digging himself in a gaping hole with each thing he says.

Nike "Chicks Dig the Long Ball"

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    It's crazy to think this classic Nike commercial is already more than 15 years old, but in my opinion, it remains one of the best sports ads ever.

    Hoping to get recognized for more than just their Cy Young Award efforts, former pitchers Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine do their best to bulk up and go yard in hopes to land a few ladies.

    After all, "chicks dig the long ball."

DirecTV "Football on Your Phone"

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    It's the Manning Brothers acting silly—what more could a sports fan want?

    Anytime Peyton and Eli get in front of a camera when it's not for football, it seems they let their inner funny come out, and they didn't disappoint with this DirecTV ad from last season.

    Hell, dad Archie even makes an appearance to embarrass himself a bit, too.

NBC Sports "An American Coach in London"

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    It might not have been a commercial—instead, it's a YouTube, long-form ad to promote NBC's Premier League coverage—but are you really going to debate me that's it's goofy as all hell?

    With funnyman Jason Sudeikis acting as clueless head football coach Ted Lasso, the one-liners he tosses in this thing are priceless.

Kia "Blake Griffin Drop In"

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    This is one of the newer sports commercials out there, and I seriously lose it each time I watch it.

    I'm not sure there's a better athlete promoter than Blake Griffin. So seeing him do his thing in any ad—specifically Kia's—is just about as good as one of his sick dunks.

Head and Shoulders "Polamalu's Hair"

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    Have you ever dreamt about having Troy Polamalu's hair?

    Whether you have or not, shampoo company Head and Shoulders gives a sneak peak as to some of the perks.

    Seeing that normal white dude rocking the Polamalu wig is both creepy and funny—so it's a good thing it's not his real 'do.

Foot Locker's "Disguise"

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    What do you get when you put two of the youngest and brightest stars in the NBA together in one commercial?

    Pure gold.

    Hoping to disguise himself from crazy fans, Houston Rockets guard James Harden tries out a new look—which happens to be New Orleans Hornets All-Star Anthony Davis.

    If one unibrow is good, two might be even better.

ESPN's "Wish"

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    Jeff Van Gundy gets me all the time.

    Not only is his commentary downright hilarious when calling a game, but this commercial shows that he's like a modern day George Costanza when it comes to trying to hide is baldness.

    I'm not sure there's a person out there who doesn't chuckle at Van Gundy in his numerous ESPN ads.

Guitar Hero

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    They aren't all saints, but wouldn't that just make a band featuring Kobe Bryant, Alex Rodriguez, Tony Hawk and Michael Phelps even that much more intriguing?

    Video game Guitar Hero hoped so, having the boys dress up to re-enact the famous scene from Risky Business and strut around in their socks and undies.

Reebok "Terry Tate: Office Linebacker"

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    We all hate that co-worker who leaves a half-cup of coffee or steals your leftovers, so Reebok thought that hiring an office linebacker would do the trick to help alleviate those types of problems.

    And seeing how ferocious Terry Tate is on some of these fools, I'd say he's the right man for the job.

Fathead "Greatness"

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    I'm not much for interior design, but even I admit that Green Bay Packers All-Pro defensive end Clay Matthews III seems to know what he's doing.

    If your man cave isn't going to have pics of Emma Watson all over the walls, why not just post ones of yourself, right?

    Matthews' sarcasm blends perfectly with his serious tone, making this thing awesome.

Converse "Weapon"

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    They may have all been All-Stars and/or future Hall of Famers on the court, but Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Isiah Thomas and others weren't quite so talented when it comes to rapping.

    While it's a hell of an effort by these guys, it's just too funny—and awkward—to not laugh at.

Foot Locker's "Week of Greatness"

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    Who would have ever imagined Mike Tyson re-gifting Evander Holyfield's ear? Foot Locker, that's who.

    Dreaming up the perfect sports world, Cleveland Cavaliers All-Star guard Kyrie Irving has a few other sports figures doing things that they typically aren't used to—and it's just too damn good not to appreciate.

ESPN's "This Is Sportscenter"

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    It's John Clayton, wearing a Slayer T-shirt and letting his mullet hang low. How can it get any better?

    Known for his buttoned-up style, "The Professor" had a ton of fun with this commercial for SportsCenter—and from the reaction it got online, fans couldn't get enough of it, either.

Fletcher's for Constipation

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    I may be inching closer to 30 years old, but I'm still a sucker when it comes to bathroom humor.

    And having NBA Hall of Famer Wilt Chamberlain talk about his constipation warrants a good laugh.

    It's Wilt, it's poop, and I'm childish—so this just has to be the goofiest commercial in sports.