First of all, God help us.
If ever there were a "this could get so, so ugly so, so fast" team, it's your 2007-08 Los Angeles Lakers.
Will Phil or Kobe explode first? Will Kobe blame Mitch Kupchack or Andrew Bynum first? Will Lamar Odom's feelings get hurt before or after the first game?
If you were worried about Kevin Garnett physically harming his teammates in Minnesota, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Javaris Crittenton and Jordan Farmar have combined for 42 years on earth...and close to zero real production in the NBA.
Nothing like inexperienced youth running the triangle offense (like Ron Harper, right?).
But that's why the Lakers brought back...Derek Fisher.
Now this is just fantastic. Where else can you find a sport in which an undersized role player has his value increase just as he's moving into the "I'm definitely washed up" years.
Kobe and Fisher down the stretch—it'll work just fine against fearsome division rivals like the Los Angeles Clippers and Sacramento Kings.
I can't get over this. Mitch Kupchak's big present to Kobe Bryant was Derek Fisher? Nothing says stick around and lead this team to glory like...Derek Fisher. You've gotta be kidding me.
A healthy Luke Walton and Lamar Odom are worth at least three or four more wins.
Walton is Rick Fox with better vision—talk about a compliment. And like Fox, he'd be a perfect fit if the Lakers still had Shaquille O'Neil in his prime.
As it stands, he's an average (at best) player at his position. And with all the other guys making mistakes around him, you're never going to notice Walton.
But you will notice Lamar Odom and his unwavering ability to disappear for weeks at a time. Here's a suggestion: Someone punch this guy in the face before every game. I literally have NEVER see him play hard until he's instigated or shown up on the court.
Odom does play Shawn Marion well, though...and the Lakers play the Suns four times.
Andrew Bynum or Kwame Brown? Do we even need to get into this?
Oh the anticipation...I feel like Eric Cartman waiting for a Nintendo Wii. Except I'd rather just see Kobe on another team.
Jerry Buss—do us all a favor and get Kobe out of LA.
(And don't even think about keeping Kobe around and signing Gilbert Arenas next offseason. They couldn't play together....don't bother looking into it.)