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Philadelphia Phillies: Welcome to the Land of Oz

WASHINGTON - APRIL 13:  Manager Charlie Manuel of the Philadelphia Phillies watches the game against the Washington Nationals at Nationals Park on April 13, 2009 in Washington, DC.  (Photo by Greg Fiume/Getty Images)
Flattish PoeCorrespondent INovember 8, 2016

If I had a nickel for every time I said, “What do you plan to do with that booger?"


I'm sorry, I got sidetracked.


I meant, if I had a nickel for every time I said, "The Phillies don’t need another pitcher,” I’d be rich. Okay, maybe rich only from my son’s point of view—when you’re 10, a buck buys a lot of Big League Chew.


But I might be alone in my thinking. Charlie Manuel announced yesterday that he wanted another A-list pitcher.


If I only had a heart, I wouldn’t see through Charlie’s words. I think this is Charlie’s way of booing his starters.


Hey, he’s the one who said Phil’s fans need to start booing their team. I think he thinks they’ve become complacent at home. Well, their home stand record would indicate that.


I’ll admit, the team's starting pitching has been bad. But what if it’s just been spoiled?


Everyone’s making a big deal of Brett Myers being out for the rest of the season, but if I only had a brain, maybe I’d remember he had some other great outing this season besides his domination of the Yankees in New York.


Let me think again. Nope, got nothing, but my IQ test on Facebook would indicate thinking’s not my strong point. Then again, it said Britney Spears got it on with Albert Einstein.


And if I only had some courage, I’d say they don’t need more starting pitchers, they need the ones they have to do their job.


Whoops, I just said it.


Welcome to the Land of Oz.


Throughout interleague play in the Emerald City, Phil's pitchers have shown glimpses of the World Champions, but lately they’ve mimicked a team that looks lost in front of interleague batters.


I feel like they had one glorious week where just about every pitcher had their best outing of the season, including J.A. Happ and Antonio Bastardo.


Why can they do it one day and not another? Beginner’s luck?


Maybe Charlie’s thoughts are buried in another thing he said lately—Pedro Feliz has been successful at the plate because he’s “aggressive and selective.”


Maybe he really means that’s what his entire team needs to be. Maybe he’s speaking in secret code—maybe he’s a spy. Or maybe he’s the great and almighty Oz.


If I wore a Phillies jersey, I’d follow the yellow brick road.


See you at the ballpark—without the little dog.

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