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Philadelphia Phillies: Welcome to the Land of Oz

Flattish PoeJun 18, 2009

If I had a nickel for every time I said, โ€œWhat do you plan to do with that booger?"

I'm sorry, I got sidetracked.

I meant, if I had a nickel for every time I said, "The Phillies donโ€™t need another pitcher,โ€ Iโ€™d be rich. Okay, maybe rich only from my sonโ€™s point of viewโ€”when youโ€™re 10, a buck buys a lot of Big League Chew.

But I might be alone in my thinking. Charlie Manuel announced yesterday that he wanted another A-list pitcher.

If I only had a heart, I wouldnโ€™t see through Charlieโ€™s words. I think this is Charlieโ€™s way of booing his starters.

Hey, heโ€™s the one who said Philโ€™s fans need to start booing their team. I think he thinks theyโ€™ve become complacent at home. Well, their home stand record would indicate that.

Iโ€™ll admit, the team's starting pitching has been bad. But what if itโ€™s just been spoiled?

Everyoneโ€™s making a big deal of Brett Myers being out for the rest of the season, but if I only had a brain, maybe Iโ€™d remember he had some other great outing this season besides his domination of the Yankees in New York.

Let me think again. Nope, got nothing, but my IQ test on Facebook would indicate thinkingโ€™s not my strong point. Then again, it said Britney Spears got it on with Albert Einstein.

And if I only had some courage, Iโ€™d sayย they donโ€™t need more starting pitchers,ย they need the onesย they have to do their job.

Whoops, I just said it.

Welcome to the Land of Oz.

Throughout interleague play in the Emerald City,ย Phil's pitchers have shown glimpses of the World Champions, but lately theyโ€™ve mimicked a team that looks lost in front of interleague batters.

I feel likeย they had one glorious week where just about every pitcher had their best outing of the season, including J.A. Happ and Antonio Bastardo.

Why can they do it one day and not another? Beginnerโ€™s luck?

Maybe Charlieโ€™s thoughts are buried in another thing he said latelyโ€”Pedro Feliz has been successful at the plate because heโ€™s โ€œaggressive and selective.โ€

Maybe he really means thatโ€™s what his entire team needs to be. Maybe heโ€™s speaking in secret codeโ€”maybe heโ€™s a spy. Or maybe heโ€™s the great and almighty Oz.

If I wore a Phillies jersey, Iโ€™d follow the yellow brick road.

See you at the ballparkโ€”without the little dog.