Manchester United

David Moyes' Skincare Range Is Pick of April Fool's 2014 Gags

Click Fragrance
Mark PattersonUK Staff WriterApril 1, 2014

There have been a few April Fool's jokes doing the rounds so far on Tuesday morning, but the launch of a David Moyes skincare range might be the best of them.

Website Click Fragrance has chosen today of all days to announce the launch, with the strap-name Clueless.

The press release is a thing of merciless wonder, and while we can't bring you all of it, there are several highlights for the product which promises to make you look older and more brow-beaten:

The skin will be tricked into thinking it is David Moyes, instantly drying and wrinkling the skin, adding that undesirable extra twenty years.

Additionally, Moyes is reportedly cautious about its success:

Moyes said he wasn’t sure if the new range would take off, but hopes it will “do its best in the circumstances” and has “better plans for future products.” He did reveal however that “working with a team of mixers was worse than he thought it would be” and admitted to having “no idea” what he was doing, what they were doing, where he was, and being very scared... Although he did claim that "even Nick Knowles would have struggled.

And finally, there is some concern that he may not be the face of Clueless for much longer:

Industry insiders fear that his performance as manager of Manchester United is so bad that its more likely that he will be relieved of his duties and return to looking his normal age, with the quickly ageing Tim Sherwood the frontrunner to become the ‘face’ of future products.

While this is obviously an April Fools' joke, the fact that Moyes pits his wits against Europe's top team at present, Bayern Munich, in the Champions League quarter-finals on Tuesday night, might add a wrinkle or two to the Scot's skin.

And why has Click Fragrance chosen to pick on the beleaguered Manchester United manager? It's anyone's guess—until you notice at the bottom that the story is sourced to a "Liverpool supporter who works in the office."

[H/T to @BrooksDT for spotting on Twitter]

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