Cardinals defensive end Darnell Dockett is having another productive offseason. Productive in that he recently claimed to have purchased yet another wild animal that has the potential to eat him a few years down the road.
On Monday Dockett posted a photo of the new addition to his family on Instagram—an alligator named “Honey,” for whom he paid in cash.
Honey is kind of adorable and fun-sized at the moment, but as Dockett noted himself, eventually she will grow to over 500 pounds. And in the immortal words of one Bart Scott, Dockett “can’t wait” till she does.
On one hand, that’s a relatively frightening prospect which raises legitimate safety concerns. On the other hand, at this point Dockett must have gained some level of skill in dealing with disconcerting pets.
After all, Honey isn’t the first addition to the Darnell Docket Family Zoo, and she’s not likely to be the last. Heck, she’s not even the first alligator.
Taking him at his word and assuming he is actually acquiring these animals, rather than posing with them and just pretending like he is, Dockett’s new gator Honey will either join or replace Nino, the gator he supposedly bought back in July, 2011.
Hopefully Dockett has got a big spread in Florida, otherwise quarters might be getting a little cramped. In the last year he’s claimed ownership of a tiger cub and reportedly attempted to buy a $30,000 monkey, that according to an interview with Fox Sports 910 Phoenix.
The tiger, who Dockett said in that interview is named “Lil Buddy,” was batted around as a potential visitor to Cardinals training camp last season, but like Nino in 2011, it was a no-show. Perhaps Buddy had a prior engagement?
It’s hard to know if Dockett is telling the truth about any of his supposed pets. If you listen to that Fox Sports interview, it sounds like he’s making it all up as he goes along.
That being said, there’s always the possibility that Dockett really is running afoul of countless federal and state wildlife regulations and is actually working towards a post-football life in which he ends up featured in one of those Animal Planet shows where a well-meaning dummy adopts a bunch of reptiles and eventually dies by their scaly little hands.
The only “normal” potential pet Dockett has referenced on Instagram is this dog, which is potentially a pit bull and potentially named “Kod.”
Unfortunately, like almost everything else on his Instagram page, the dog was mentioned a few times about nine months ago and hasn’t been seen since.
Or maybe Kod just took one look at the alligators and tiger and peaced out. Couldn't blame him if he did.