Ranking the Quarterbacks of the AFC West.

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Ranking the Quarterbacks of the AFC West.
(Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

It’s June and I am bored so I thought I would start a new Random Rankings series. Today I will take a stab at ranking the QBs of the AFC West. I hope we can still be friends after this.

 

I think most will agree Philip Rivers is the top QB in the “Cutlerless” AFC West. Rivers throws like a girl, whines like a baby and taunts opposing players from the sidelines but he is the best of a questionable bunch. I never paid attention to his throwing motion until a friend pointed it out to me and now it haunts me in my sleep. I just hope he doesn’t heckle me if I throw an incomplete pass.

 

After Rivers, it is a close call because the history is limited and both candidates are in new situations. Though it is close, I have Kyle Orton as the second rated QB in the AFC West.

 

He doesn’t look as cool as Cutler and unfortunately cannot toss the rock like Cutler either. He gets a nice upgrade on the O-line this year which should boost his production. He also trades in a dynamic return man, a security blanket TE and a sure handed-rookie RB for one of the top WR corps in the league, two security blanket TEs and a sure handed-rookie RB. The question is can he get the goofy look off his face?

 

Next on the list is Matt Cassel. This guy has to be walking in tall cotton. One day he is on the verge of being cut and two weeks later he his playing catch with Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Ben Watson.  He also played behind and good line and had a stout defense to relieve the pressure. 

 

Now for the reality check. They have different priorities in KC and protecting the QB is not one of them. He now gets to throw to Dwayne “Don’t drop …that…pass” Bowe, Mark “I had to look this guy up on the internet to see who he was” Bradley, Brad “I’m no Tony G” Cottam, and Larry “I got a big fat contract three years ago and haven’t been the same since” Johnson.

 

Cassel also trades in New England’s reliable defense for Kansas City’s not so reliable defense. Last year KC set a record for the fewest sacks recorded in NFL history. At least he doesn’t have to worry about getting mauled in practice. Just stay out of the way of LJ’s posse.

 

My lowest rated QB in the AFC West is JaMarcus Russell. The word about Russell coming out of the NFL combine was he could throw fifty yards sitting on his can. If the Raiders knew he was going to attempt this feat on every third down they probably would not have drafted him. Judging from his weight, sitting on his can is a habit in the off-season as well. 

 

To be fair I would not stand behind that line either and he doesn’t have quality receivers. How is a guy supposed to get anywhere throwing to Javon “My knee…my ankle…my shoulder…my head” Walker? That guy hurts in places most people don’t even have.

 

One has to wonder if having Darrius Heyward—Bey on the other side will help this year.  The guy runs like a cheetah and catches passes like one too.  If you think this is a good thing throw a football at your cat.  All cats catch footballs about the same and ten bucks says your cat doesn’t catch it.

 

So there they are, my AFC West QB rankings.  No facts, no stats, just arbitrary pot shots.  I hope you are offended and I hope you tell me about it.  Also tell your friends so they can be offended as well. 

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