Brett Favre, Take a Chill Pill

Alice MeikleCorrespondent IJune 9, 2009

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - DECEMBER 28:  Brett Favre #4 of The New York Jets looks to pass against The Miami Dolphins during their game on December 28, 2008 at Giants Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey.  (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)

Okay, in the words of my 17-year-old, "I am not a hater," but for god sakes, Brett Favre, grow up.

I am normally a level-headed professional, but you are making me question the meaning of tears and good-byes. I have stuck in there with you, Brett, through all of the wins and losses with the Packers, through the painkillers allegations, through the tearful goodbyes, and yes, the shameless returns. 

I stood up for you all the way in Florida, dude. If I wore tattoos, I would have the number four inked on my arm—or maybe not.  But I hope that helps you figure out why I am calling for you to grow up. 

Your on and off again relationship with the Packers is like the boy meets girl, boy sleeps with girl, boy dumps girl number on Broadway, and the last time I checked your name is not "Joe."

Brett, I do not know if you are scared, but if you are, I can understand. As an agent, you and I know there is life after football, so there is no need to keep going back to the NFL to redeem your ego.

You are name brand and endorsement material. Please go out like Mike.

If it's revenge you are seeking, why did you leave GBP to go to the Jets? Are you that bitter, Brett? I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I am running out of excuses for you, and you simply don't have any excuses I could use.

You asked for your release from the Jets after knowing your season-ending numbers were not up to par. You even told many sports reporters that you would not play next season.

Brett, you kept the status of your shoulder hush-hush, and have been playing games with the Vikings. One minute you are on, the other you are going to stay retired. Your agent is an even bigger liar, and you are both playing games with the current Vikings QB.

I guess you will step on, pass over, and throw any incomplete pass just to prove to the GBPs that you had your way. My dear, take it from a former polo player: I still like horses, but that does not mean I should try to play polo at age 43. 

If you do come back next season to stick out your chest at the Packers, please leave me out of it. I do not want any part of your tears and goodbyes.

Don't make any appeal for "fans" to support you, because I speak for fans, near and far, who are tired of your Kate Perry tune. Yes, Brett, you hot, then you are and then out, you kiss and make up, now you fail to show up.

Realize this Brett: No one is losing sleep if you don't come back, and no one is dreaming that you are. Call me a "hater" if you wish, but I do not get paid to be your enabler.