Sports Valentine's Day Cards

Amber Lee@@BlamberrSports Lists Lead WriterFebruary 12, 2014

Sports Valentine's Day Cards

0 of 26

    Valentine's Day is very nearly upon us, which means men (and probably plenty of women) all over this great continent are about to embark on a last-minute scramble to pick up some ridiculous trinket that attempts to say something that a ridiculous trinket never could. 

    In that case, why even bother? There's absolutely no reason to venture out into the snow, or even put on a pair of pants, because nothing says "I love you" better than a homemade, sports-themed Valentine's Day that I created for you. 

    You'll thank me later. 

Derek Jeter Card

1 of 26

    Just because I can’t afford to send you home with a gift basket every time you spend the night doesn’t mean I don’t love you. And, unlike Derek Jeter, at least you know I’ll call. 

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

Derrick Rose Card

2 of 26

    I hope our relationship holds up against the daily grind of real life better than Derrick Rose’s knees held up against the daily grind of professional basketball. 

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

Tom Brady Card

3 of 26

    UGG! I just love you so much! I love you more than Tom Brady loves women’s boots. 

    Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Sochi Stray Dog Card

4 of 26

    If you love me half as much as the media—and the world—loves the adorable stray dogs in Sochi, then I could die right now as the happiest person on Earth. 

    Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s get a dog! 

O.J. Simpson Card

5 of 26

    Like O.J. Simpson and the ever-present cloud of double-murder suspicion that looms large and dark above him, may we be together forever. 

    Happy Valentine's Day!

Alex Rodriguez Card

6 of 26

    Alex Rodriguez is a cheater that struggles to mimic human emotions, which is why we all hate him. I promise to be faithful to you and never fake anything...unless you're having a really bad day and really need a win. 

    May we all strive to be not A-Rod in our personal relationships and in life. Happy Valentine's Day! 

Peyton Manning Card

7 of 26

    I know sometimes I let you down, but, unlike Peyton Manning, you know that I’ll never come up short when it counts the most. 

    Happy Valentine's Day!

Hope Solo Card

8 of 26

    Since we were lucky enough to find each other, here's HOPEing we never have to go SOLO to another awkward work function. 

    Happy Valentine's Day!

Bob Costas Card

9 of 26

    Like the horrifying bacteria raging in Bob Costas' grotesque eyeballs, may our love only continue to grow and spread as each day passes. 

    Happy Valentine's Day! 

Phillie Phanatic Card

10 of 26

    Unlike the Phillie Phanatic, I promise to always respect your boundaries and personal space. I will love you forever in a way that will never require legal intervention. 

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

Joe Namath Card

11 of 26

    I have just one promise for you this Valentine’s Day: To love you forever. 

    And much like the great Joe Namath, I never make promises I don’t intend to keep. 

    Actually, that reminds me of another promise: To never wear a fur coat. 

Lionel Messi Card

12 of 26

    When I told my favorite soccer player about the special night I've got planned for you this year, he began an epic slow clap that changed my life in ways you can't even begin to imagine. Especially when he assured me he wasn't Messin' around and shot me a wink. 

    Happy Valentine's Day! 

Jonathan Vilma Card

13 of 26

    Let's celebrate Valentine's Day in a way that Jonathan Vilma would approve: By taking a shower together and having a serious discussion about how uncomfortable we'd be if some gay dudes were there staring at us. 

    I love you, baby, but not in a gay way. 

Bobby Valentine Card

14 of 26

    This year I promise to be 10 times the Valentine to you that Bobby V. was to the Red Sox. Which is, admittedly, not a very high bar, but you know what I mean. 

    Happy Valentine's Day! 

Brian Scalabrine Card

15 of 26

    May our love continue to burn as red hot as the hair of Brian Scalabrine, and may it continue to flourish with the obvious intensity and passion behind his eyes. 

    Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Brett Favre Card

16 of 26

    I couldn’t be happier that things are going so well between us at the moment. My only hope is, that if and when the time comes, we’ll both be smarter than Brett Favre and recognize when it’s time to walk away. 

    Although, unlike with Favre, I hope that day never comes for us. Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Red Hot Russia Card

17 of 26

    Unlike the relationship between Russia and the Western world, which is seemingly exacerbated by the debacle of the Sochi Olympics, may our relations never cool and always remain as red hot as the Soviet Union before the fall of the Berlin Wall.

    Happy Valentine's Day!

Brian Wilson Card

18 of 26

    Baby, you mean almost as much to me as looking like a crazy person means to Brian Wilson. 

    Happy Valentine's Day!

Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin Card

19 of 26

    Let the ongoing drama between former teammates Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin serve as a reminder that, while sometimes the waters on the great sea of love get choppy, the ride is never rough enough to result in either of us checking into a mental institution. 

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

Tiger Woods Card

20 of 26

    Because things are starting to get serious between us, now feels like a good time to tell you that my idea of marital fidelity is completely different from that of Tiger Woods. That "love the one you're with" stuff is for hippies and people who get frequent calls from the CDC. 

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

David Beckham Card

21 of 26

    This year I promise to be at your David Beckh-am-call. See what I did there? 

    Have a smolderingly sexy Valentine's Day! 

Takeo Spikes Card

22 of 26

    Like the inexplicably thick neck of Takeo Spikes, my love for you is thick and sturdy and defies all natural laws—it’s almost scary. 

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

Ryan Braun Card

23 of 26

    This year my gift to you is a promise to tell the truth, particularly when I've been caught red-handed. I wish we could expect the same from Ryan Braun. 

    Happy Valentine's Day!

Ryan Lochte Card

24 of 26

    You want to know if I love you? Well how about I yield the floor to Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte, one of America’s great modern-day thinkers: 


    What would Ryan Lochte do? He’d wish you the very best Valentine’s Day ever…from both of us. 

Demaryius Thomas Card

25 of 26

    My only hope is that we never end up like Demaryius Thomas' shoulder in Super Bowl XLVIII: Painfully separated. 

    Happy Valentine's Day!

LeBron James Card

26 of 26

    This Valentine's Day, the King cordially invites you to be his Queen.

    Happy Valentine's Day!