Ice Skating Fails to Get You Ready for the Olympics

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Ice Skating Fails to Get You Ready for the Olympics
David J. Phillip/Associated Press

The Winter Olympics are weird, utterly specific and exclusionary to a fault.

The events are also pretty awesome if you care to open your eyelids and actually give them a shake.

Take figure skating, for example. At face value, it's skinny guys in matador-casual chucking around women from the ex-Soviet bloc with eight syllable names. Lame, right? Wrong.

Figure skating–while not endlessly B.A.–isn't hopscotch on ice. These people go for big air, and sometimes it ends in a 50/50 face grind in front of the judge's booth.

In the name of getting everyone in the mood for the Sochi Olympics, I've put together a number of ice skating bloopers, fails and facialsAs you'll see, competitive skating might not be a "contact sport," but that doesn't mean everyone makes it home with their spine and/or Chiclets intact.

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