Fantasy Baseball Loves The '90s, Part Deux
This is Part Two of my buddy Chris Murphy and I writing about how annoying fantasy baseball must have been during the 90's. First off, most of this was done with the old, manual version instead of our glorious computers.
Second, steroids tainted much of this era, inflating offensive numbers and causing huge spikes (and declines) in production from random players (see Brett Boone).
Before I go on, check out my friend Chris Murphy, who, despite his vampire tendencies and infatuation with fat biker babes, actually has a very good mind about baseball and knows how to write:
And now on to part two of our coverage.
Everyone remembers N'Sync, The Spice Girls, Full House, Nickelodeon, and Monica Lewinski, but who could forget these fantasy baseball legends (I use the term 'legends' very, very loosely).
These are some of the comments that were said by many owners during the 90's.
"Andy Van Slyke is the man this year! After seeing his numbers from 1992, I am saying ‘Barry Who’?"
…only played 83 games in 1993…
"Took him in the fourth round dammit!"
"Hideo Nomo had 236 K’s in 1995 as a rookie, big things on the horizon for this stud!
...never finished in the top three for Cy Young Award voting...
"I really like what I've read about Gary DiSarcina on the Angels. I think I'll make an early move for him"
...never slugged above .400 besides his all-star year in 1995...
"I had him pegged as my everyday SS. What was I smoking?!? Why would I trust a guy with such a goofy last name?!?!"
"I'll at least lock up the saves category early. Ricky Bottalico had 34 saves in 1996 & 1997. Welcome to my team, Rick."
...only recorded six saves in 1998...
"My first closer drafted...oh no...I'll never win the saves category now! Didn't I learn my lesson about players with funny-sounding last names?"
"John Smiley won 36 combined games the last two seasons (1991 & 1992). Man, he's gonna be a stud in '93 with the Reds baby!"
...actually posted a 5.62 ERA in 18 starts that year for the Reds...
"Thanks for nothing, John. I am not smiling...these are actually tears running down my face thanks to you."
"Denny Neagle won 36 games for the Braves in 1997 & 1998. No way he turns out like John Smiley!"
...only started 19 games for the Reds with an ERA in the mid-fours...
"Why did I think he'd be a solid No. 1 for my rotation? He never struck anybody out! Why didn't I learn my lesson from Smiley!?!?"
"Dude, Tony Womack is faster than Nick Lachey's rise to teenage hearthrob status. He's gonna make people forget Ricky Henderson was ever born."
...60 steals in 1997 and 72 in 1999, but was basically the original Willy Taveras or Michael Bourn...
"Pick em up (said like in the movie Dumb and Dumber)...I need speed, I don't care if he does nothing else!"
"Walt Weiss is my guy this year. He hit .280 last year as an all-star; He'll look good as my everyday SS."
...followed by a .226 average the following year...
"It wasn't weiss of me to draft him so high. Why did I put so much faith in a 35-year old who was never good anyways?!?"
"Dude, watch me unload Aaron Sele for a stud. He's having a pretty respectable year. I'm going to tell some moron he'll win the Cy Young and see who I can steal from him."
...Aaron Sele was fifth in the Cy Young voting despite having an ERA of 4.79...
"I dumped him to some idiot and got Pedro (313 K's in 213 IP) in return...Fantasy move of the century!"
"Fernando Vina is busting out this year, he's my sleeper in 1999!"
...actualy got hurt and played less than 40 games...
"Why did I draft him in the fifth round!?!? Oh well, I'm sure he'll land on his feet and get a sweet job as an ESPN commentator."
"I'm staying away from Todd Hundley this year for sure."
...hit 41 HR and drove in 112 men after going 15 and 51 the previous year...
"Boy was I wrong. Move over Piazza, this kid's coming for you. He's a Hall of Famer for sure."
So, that's just a small sample of the types of comments being made during the 90's in regards to fantasy baseball.
Again, check out my friend and nemesis Chris Murphy who wrote Part One of this feature.
Pearl Jam rules!
Note: the picture of Todd Hundley may not have actually taken place during the 90's, but I'm still bitter about his horrible tenure as a member of the Chicago Cubs.
so take that Todd.
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