As I sit here watching today's marathon of Burn Notice, waiting for the next article about the NFL to get posted on one of the many websites I frequent, I wonder, "What the heck am I going to do this summer to keep myself from getting so bored without any football?"
There's a dead point in the middle of the offseason where there's absolutely nothing interesting to write about, and thus we're left with nothing to satiate us while we wait for the regular season.
It's already started to happen.
News about our favorite (or not-so-favorite) teams and players has started to drop off.
We get a few meager morsels of information from OTAs and such, but it's just not the same.
Soon news will all but drop off completely.
Luckily, I've had the Stanley Cup Finals to keep me occupied for the moment (Go Pens!), but in a week or so, I'll have nothing but baseball to keep me occupied.
While I know baseball has a strong following and is America's sport and all, for me, watching baseball on TV is the equivalent of watching paint dry.
Watching one guy throw a ball and seeing if another guy can hit it is just not the same as seeing a quarterback get laid out by a blitzing linebacker or seeing a receiver beat double coverage to make a stunning catch for a touchdown.
So, I came up with five things to help keep my mind off of football.
The Cinnamon Challenge
A friend of mine recently showed me this absolutely ridiculous new fad that many have started on YouTube. Basically you have to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon.
Sounds easy, right?
Try searching around on YouTube, and you'll see young and old alike have found this near impossible, yielding hilarious results. If you're too afraid to try it yourself, grab an unsuspecting friend and watch the fun.
Those who have a Nintendo Wii and Wii Sports know my frustration when it comes to achieving the perfect Wii Age of 20.
I thought I had it one time, but as soon as it showed me "20" and I proceeded to make a fool out of myself taunting my friends, it decided to make me look like an idiot by knocking out my score and showing me it was actually "27."
Try it yourself. Just learn from my mistake and make sure you know you have the right score before riding your Wiimote around the living room like a horse and screaming "In your face!" to everyone you pass.
Make Someone Think I'm a Famous Celebrity
Ever been told you look like someone famous?
I do all the time. The most popular (and annoying) one is Harry Potter. I'm going to get a big group of friends to pretend they're the paparazzi and then go around town and see how many people I can convince that I'm him.
Ever seen those shows like 60 Minutes when they talk about these underground Silicon Valley fight clubs? How do you go about finding one of those?
This guy plans to find out.
If you know me, which probably none of you do, you'd realize how funny it'd be to see me in a fight club. To clue you in, I'm about six feet tall and 155 pounds.
Now before your minds go to the gutter, this is another new YouTube fad. And no, it's still not what you think.
Jerkin, in a nutshell, is where you dress up in the most random clothes, put on an even more random song, and dance with absolutely no rhythm or skill whatsoever. It's harder than you might think to look this ridiculous.
I mean, you can't just look stupid. That's no good.
To look completely idiotic—that's comedy gold.
Don't worry. I plan on posting all this online so you can entertain yourselves with my misfortunes.
In the meantime, it's back to this episode of Burn Notice, because I sure as heck am not watching baseball highlights.
I'm not that bored.
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