Please know that a great many egos were destroyed to bring you this article.
Far from the thrill of victory and right before one gets to suffer the agony of defeat lays a land of utter misery we fans actually get to enjoy.
We are talking about momentary lapses in judgement so grandiose that we will never forget them, so imagine how some of these athletes are doing at the moment.
Of course, we can't get to every last sports brainfart that might make you chuckle, so we invite you to remedy any brainfart of our own by suggesting your favorite in the comments section below.
Here are sports fails that, while extremely disastrous to the people who committed them, still manage to entertain us days, weeks and years later.
Now we do want to note that we shall err on the side of humor here, so forgive us for leaving moments like Andres Escobar's own goal or Sven Kramer's heartbreaking mistake on the cutting-room floor.
Otherwise, bust out the popcorn and enjoy masters of their sport bumble their way onto this list.
BuzzFeed spotted this little treat hiding on the Internet, featuring a fortuitous tipoff between Philippine basketball sides San Mig Super Coffee Mixers and Barako Bull.
As you can see, some defenders are very easily confused. Even Bugs Bunny is impressed by this extremely audacious ploy from the Bull's Willie Miller.
Sorry, Kolten Wong, but we simply have to relive your now infamous pickoff one more time. We'll be quick about it.
In Game 4 of the World Series, with the Cardinals down 4-2, Wong took his place at first base with one job: allow Carlos Beltran to do some damage at the plate.
Instead, he decided to take too big of a lead against Boston Red Sox reliever Koji Uehara. One quick throw to first later, Wong was out and Beltran had to merely walk back to the dugout defeated.
Well, it's the first time a World Series game ended in this fashion, so Wong has that going for him, which is nice.
It's not just a silly ploy from Rookie of the Year. No, sometimes the hidden-ball trick can be a real weapon in an already stocked arsenal for baseball players.
In an August game against the Tampa Bay Rays, Dodgers veteran Juan Uribe managed to get to third base but went no further as he was bamboozled by one of the oldest tricks in the book.
Not to worry, because his wasn't the only mental gaffe of the season, because the Astros' Max Stassi was welcomed to the bigs with similar gamesmanship.
Anytime we talk about gaffes, blunders or brainfarts, we immediately think about Leon Lett and his propensity to celebrate before the job is done.
And for that distinction, we thank him.
Lett nearly took the ball all the way to the house in Super Bowl XXVII. Of course, that nearly is fairly sizable, because the ball was knocked out of his hands by a hustling Don Beebe.
We can all have a chuckle, because the Cowboys ended up winning the game anyway.
Oh, Lett would go on to have another brainfart about a year later, allowing the Dolphins to get the ball in a now classic Thanksgiving showdown.
Let's all raise our glasses to a true master of the timely gaffe.
Even the game's officials can suffer from momentary lapses in judgment. OK, you can stick that statement right next to all the other "No duh!" sentiments in history.
One of the biggest has to be the crew working the Colorado game against Missouri on Oct. 6, 1990 who gave the Buffaloes one whole extra down.
As you might imagine, having an extra play proved fairly advantageous, because Colorado would win, 33-31. If that weren't enough, they would go on to share national championship honors.
As Bleacher Report's Kyle Newport informed us back in November, the Cowboys defense decided it was siesta time in the middle of their game with the New York Giants.
Sometimes the best maneuver is to just play possum and some defenders will seemingly forget you ever existed.
Like a holiday spread at your family's house, there are almost too many treats on display.
As you will see, Kent State's Andre Parker picks up a muffed punt and decides he would make things more difficult and run the wrong direction.
Not to be outdone, a couple of Towson defenders actually tackle Parker before he reaches the wrong end zone. It was as if a brainfart cloud descended upon the field to provide for the most amazing lack of awareness we have ever seen.
The Stanford band loves the spotlight, so we might as well include it on this list because of its 1982 masterstroke that led to "The Play."
Down 20-19 in their annual rivalry game against Stanford, the California Golden Bears would prove they only needed the four seconds left on the clock as well as one big assist from the overzealous Stanford band members.
Timing, as they say, is everything.
History.com has a nice, well-rounded breakdown of the 1982 NCAA National Championship game if you want to relive the 63-62 win by North Carolina over Georgetown.
For our purposes, we would like you to squint hard and make some sort of sense over the very pixelated video posted here.
It features the Hoyas' Fred Brown bringing the ball up the court, only to dish the rock off to a very thankful James Worthy in the waning moments of the game.
No, Worthy was not on Brown's team.
Not quite sure if this constitutes a "brainfart." However, running into your lineman's rear at full speed only to lose the football doesn't sound like a bright idea.
Hell, any reason we can use to once again see one of the decade's more iconic fumbles is fine by us.
One of the more minor advantages to being a football fan is that every once in a while you will come across a player celebrating way too early (Ahem, DeSean Jackson).
However, one of my personal favorites has to be the recent knuckleheadary provided by one Danny Trevathan who decided he had carried his recently intercepted football long enough, and dropped it right before the end zone.
We aren't sure what's better, Nate Robinson's reaction when he realized that shot he just made was credited to the other team or Mike D'Antoni's fuming face.
We will go ahead and say it's a tie for one of the more accurate mistakes from the Knicks' 2009-2010 campaign.
There is Derek Fisher's .4 second shot, and then there is this less-than-stellar bucket from Robinson. Both prove NBA players can get a shot off quickly when they want to.
Your eyes do not deceive you, because that is one teammate actually tackling the other.
You know your blunder is immense when it garners you national attention. And that's precisely what happens to a Las Vegas Cobras player named Corey, who managed to win a spot on Tosh.O all because of his egregiously bad sense of awareness.
When life hands you Internet lemons, you make television lemonade.
BroBible brought us this wonderful moment in sports history that features a play from a a fifth division Belgian basketball game.
As you can see, things could be going a tad smoother for the player who, despite his persistence, can't seem to score on this uncontested basket.
The best part is that he is shooting on the wrong one, which explains why is so wide-open. It's also a great thing he isn't the sharpest of shooters.
Lindsey Jacobellis picked the wrong time to bust out something from her bag of tricks. The now famous blunder cost her a gold medal at the 2006 Turin Winter Olympics.
Watching it now, you are left to cringe when the announcer proclaims early in the race that the snowboarder has a "seemingly uncatchable lead."
Proving to be quite the soothsayer, he also later offers, "That one's going to be on sports bloopers for years."
This one never seems to get old.
ESPN's Jayson Stark reports on a few instances of baseball players forgetting how many outs are in the game. Among the more hilarious is Larry Walker's kind gesture back in April 24, 1994.
In a nationally televised Sunday Night game, Walker decides to give the ball to a nearby fan. For being such a swell guy, he gets to feature in this highly memorable blooper.
It just doesn't pay to be nice, we guess.
Really, we could have filled an entire article with just Manny Ramirez, the maestro of the mental gaffe.
To that end, we posted a blooper compilation to sate your immediate need to relive one of baseball's greatest characters.
If we had to choose, we are going with ManRam deciding to cut off a throw from Johnny Damon, from left field. Baseball just isn't the same without you, ManRam.
We really feel bad for Meghan Rutledge, but if we are going to give Jacobellis and Lett a hard time for celebrating early, we simply can't let her off the hook.
Featured for your pleasure is Rutledge's ill-fated run at the 2013 X Games. This is just the latest reminder that hubris and sports don't always mix.
It's always better to save the gloating for the podium.
Much like Manny Ramirez, JaVale McGee has the distinction of entertaining us nearly every second he is playing, and not always intentionally.
Of course, the winner has to be McGee hustling back on defense while his team still had possession of the ball. Although, his off-the-board alley-oop does have a certain artistic integrity to it.
Having about 11 seconds on the clock is a "lifetime" in a basketball game. Apparently, nobody informed UConn's Roscoe Smith, who heaved the ball as if he were playing in a very well-attended game of Hot Potato.
Thankfully, the Huskies would end up winning in overtime.
As for Smith, he now holds the distinction of being a guy you want on your team if you need anything chucked 80 feet into the air. Just don't count on impeccable timing.
Former Boston Celtics big man Kendrick Perkins is currently playing in Oklahoma City where we assume the Thunder gave him a crash course in how to pass to the guys actually playing in the game.
If they are feeling really saucy, they informed him that the men wearing similar jerseys are on his team.
Former MLB player turned analyst Steve Lyons once famously forgot where he was and decided to drop his pants with thousands watching from the stands.
As you can see in the video, "Psycho" is still learning to live with his blunder to this day.
This is the big one.
Chris Webber's famous timeout call hardly needs an introduction. It's been exhaustively reviewed by fans with a mere passing interest in sports.
It was also chronicled in ESPN's 30 for 30 documentary on Michigan's brash youngsters that took over the 1990s, The Fab Five.
In that documentary, some fans might be surprised to hear that not only was it hard to hear instructions in the previous timeout, but Webber very possibly may have heard "Timeout!" screamed from the bench.
Still, this has to go down as one of the more memorable mistakes in college basketball history.