15 Jerk Things Other Fans Do
Going to a sporting event is always a lot better than just watching it on TV—well, unless the game happens to be played at Lambeau Field in January—but one thing that always puts a damper on the experience are obnoxious fans.
Thanks to differing opinions and support, opposing fans do a number of things that are blatantly jerky.
And while these things can also happen at a sports bar or even a buddy's living room, they're more prominent when fans are packed in tightly at the friendly confines of a stadium.
Regardless of where they take place though, here are the things that fans do that make them look like they belong in the jerk store.
Steal a Player's Equipment
So while I think it's hilarious when a fan gets drunk or just enough to lash out by taking a player's gear, it's still a low move.
Of course, if the dude who does it happens to be tanked out of his mind, then maybe seeing him escorted out for doing it isn't the worst thing ever.
When this Chicago Blackhawks fan stole the helmet of the Winnipeg Jets Adam Pardy, his girlfriend dumped a beer on the player's head, adding insult to jerkiness.
Heckle Each Other
Look, I grew up in Cleveland and have spent many Sunday mornings drinking in the Muni lot—the best spot to be before a Browns game.
So when opposing fans have the balls to come through there with both their gear and cheers, they should know what's about to happen—insanity.
I love supporting other fans as much as the next guy, but let's be honest, there's a line that has to be obeyed so things do not get too out of hand.
Yes, swearing, throwing stuff or fighting—especially with kids or women around—crosses that line.
Burn a Player's Jersey
I know what it's like to be deceived and betrayed by an athlete—I'm from Cleveland, remember?—but even I can't justify blazing a guy's jersey because he left my favorite team.
Sure, seeing LeBron James leave for the Miami Heat in 2010 was miserable—especially since he's been dominant ever since—and New York Yankees fans should be pissed that Robinson Cano left the Bronx, but burning a jersey is both classless and a serious waste of money
Jerseys cost 75 bucks these days.
Steal Things from Kids
Whether it's snagging a baseball from a young fan during an MLB game—like this couple did—or pushing youngsters aside to be first to get an autograph from a player, messing with a kid is a bogus move.
This video of a few Texas Rangers fans taking the ball away from a young fan is bad. But then watching them pose with it, smiling and indirectly rubbing it in almost makes me want to "accidentally" spill a beer on them—which, yes, would be a jerk move, too.
Pimp Their Wives or Girlfriends
OK, so those words, "Till death do us part" might not necessarily mean the same thing to some sports fans.
At least that's the impression I get after hearing about some of the fans who actually try and pawn off their wives or girlfriends on a player. Take this Dallas Mavericks fan, for example: He hopes that Dirk Nowitzki is the father of his wife's baby.
And don't think it's just the guys doing it: A few ladies have tried outrageous things like this as well.
Post to Message Boards/Social Media
If a fan wants to come across as a jerk, all he needs to do is take to Twitter and/or message boards.
With seemingly every player taking heat from fans for something, fans who speak out through social media are both hilarious and pathetic.
Yes, I count myself among those who have done this before—so this is sort of my way of confessing my sins.
Throw Things onto the Playing Surface
Yes, being on the wrong end of a call blows. But we're all adults here, so let's not use the seven empty beer cups as weapons to throw at refs.
I'd recommend sticking to booing umpires and officials rather than tossing something at them—unless you prefer getting wrapped up and kicked out of the stadium?
Personally, I'd rather stick around and watch the rest of the game.
Not Participate in Cheering
Oh, what? Are you too cool to cheer?
I have a message for all those fans who think that at some point in their lives they go from being a wild man to some buttoned-up, straight-laced puppet in a seat—screw you!
We all constantly hear athletes who thank fans for their support, so there's proof that it helps motivate the players.
Besides that, a sporting event is supposed to be a place to relax and let yourself have a little fun—which Donald Trump and Bill O'Reilly didn't appear to be having here.
Yeah, yeah, it's great to see fans stumble onto the field or court, do something funny and then have security try to chase them down.
But do they have to do it naked?
While the human body can be a very sexy thing, the type of people who are disrupting a sporting event normally aren't the fittest folks in the world.
For making the entire stadium see their bare booty and flabby skin bounce, they are jerks.
And if someone happens to expose himself on another fan for some reason, well, whatever is shown should be cut off.
Interrupt the Game
For those fans who don't quite have the cojones to rush the field and display their unathletic bodies, they still have the chance to get some face time by interrupting the game in other ways.
It's funny to see the crowd get behind them, but after about a minute or so—if they even last that long—the fans watching are usually turned off and waiting for the game to recommence.
For making the entire stadium wait for them to get caught, these field rushers are jerks.
For any fan who wants to come across as being not only a jerk but completely crazy too, go ahead and do something like killing a tradition.
And if you want to know what type of punishment that might result in, go ahead and ask Alabama Crimson Tide fan Harvey Updyke, who was sentenced to three years in prison for poisoning the famed oak trees at Toomer's Corner on rival Auburn's campus.
Even on a smaller scale, a fan who wants to mess with tradition instantly turns himself into public enemy No. 1.
Fight Each Other
No matter if it's sports or an argument with your sister, losing sucks.
And sports fans take it one step further. They often let their emotions lead them into doing some embarrassing things.
Whether it's a mother of three who wants to take on an entire row of opposing fans, or some other person who is upset that his team lost, getting physical over sports is the worst.
Barf on Each Other
No matter where someone is or what the cause ultimately was—95 percent of the time, it's drinking—barfing is always a party foul.
Now take that moment when you see another person throwing up and put him right next to you at a sporting event. That's when things get dicier. And when he showers his food and drinks all over you and your daughter, something has to be done.
It might not happen very often, but to win the all-time jerk award, this is a good way to do it.
Threaten an Athlete
Let's not forget that above all, athletes are actually human beings.
It might not seem like it because we all look up to them, but beneath their million-dollar contracts, sub-4.3 40-yard dash times and intensity are regular people who put their pants on just like you or me.
Remember, this is sports, so there's no reason to personally attack an athlete because he dropped a pass, missed a bucket or, God forbid, gave a pep talk to an opposing team.
Cause a Riot
As terrible as any of these other things are, a riot is even worse. It usually means there's an abundance of maniacs taking part.
I'm not sure that sports should cause such a scene, but I've been proved wrong plenty of times before, so there are fans out there who disagree with me.
For those who want to make their team, city and fans look like complete crazies, go ahead and be the jerks who burn cars and fight with cops.