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Philadelphia Phillies: Phils Immortalized in Beach Boys Song

Flattish Poe
Jun 2, 2009

The epic 60's singing group has agreed to change the lyricsย to one of their hits:

"West Coast boys are hip I really love those clothes they wear. But the East coast boys with the way they hit, they knock me out when theyโ€™re out there."

Okay, a lyricist Iโ€™m not. And you know I'm kidding.

But, my dad is visiting and Iโ€™m just so excited he saw the Phils sweep a three-game series and win the first game of their west coast stint.

Then he asked me a question to make any mom proud.

"Whoโ€™s that center fielder?"

Well, legally heโ€™s called โ€œShane Victorino,โ€ but we like to call him TOTALLY AWESOME!ย 

Now, maybe it isnโ€™t fair to exclaim his Shane-ness when heโ€™s alternating outfield gigs with the Nationals, led by hustle extraordinaire, Adam Dunnโ€“the antithesis of fielding.ย  But honestly, I think he looks good no matter who weโ€™re playing.

Letโ€™s be authentic about it.ย  And not in a roundabout way like, โ€œDoes too much of my butt show in this miniskirt?โ€

โ€œNot if youโ€™re going to be submerged.โ€

Letโ€™s just say it like it is.

โ€œI wish Shane Victorinoย played inย a kilt.โ€

Wait, thatโ€™s not what I meant at allโ€“I just got stuck watching his flyinโ€™ Hawaiian bobblehead gyrate next to my keyboard.ย 

What I meant was, just like a shrinking miniskirt, Shane has taken his game to a whole other level.ย  Letโ€™s not skirt the facts:

-He leads the team in triples, and is second in total hits.

-He hustles โ€˜round the bases stealing as good as anyone in his crib.

-Heโ€™s third in runs heโ€™s scored, and fourth in hitting doubles.

-Frankly, to the opposing team, heโ€™s nothing less than trouble.

Okay, a poet Iโ€™m not either.ย  Where are those Phillies cheerleaders when I need them?

What this means to me is, heโ€™s a guy who can really get around the bases, and thatโ€™s something baseball babes covet.

So when my dad asked who that was in center field, I had a simple answer: Thatโ€™s โ€œShane.โ€ย 

And Iโ€™ve coined my own term to explain what he doesโ€”โ€œShane itโ€.

So, he โ€œShaned itโ€ last night against the Padres.ย  Iโ€™m sure with his undying Hawaiian smiling, heโ€™ll keep it up tonight, even if my husband canโ€™t.

Whoops, was I thinking out loud again?

Sorry about that. Maybe I should change the subject.

JC Romero returns tomorrow andย Iโ€™m as giddy as a call girlโ€ฆwhoops.ย  I meant โ€œschool girl.โ€ I really need to stop while Iโ€™m behind. Sorry, I just missed him so much.

And, I miss the team. It wouldnโ€™t be so bad if I could sop up the drool that slips from my lip around the fifth with my Jayson Werth blanket.ย  But I wonโ€™t be able to pick that up until July 24th so I have plenty of time to whine about it.

Heaven forbid I miss an opportunity to complain.ย 

Just ask my husband.ย 

Go Phils!