Roger Federer's Ultimate Double-Cross (Satire)

Khalid SiddiquiCorrespondent IIJune 1, 2009

PARIS - MAY 31:  Robin Soderling of Sweden serves during the Men's Singles Fourth Round match against Rafael Nadal of Spain on day eight of the French Open at Roland Garros on May 31, 2009 in Paris, France.  (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

Given the unthinkable events that have occurred at Roland Garros over the weekend, it would be wise to take a step back and ponder a bit: Who is the greatest beneficiary of all the mayhem in the men's draw?

The answer stares right at you, doesn't it?

Roger Federer, the cool-headed Swiss star, is now by far the front-runner for lifting his first French Open crown.

On Saturday, Novak Djokovic bid adieu to Paris. On Sunday, it was the King of Clay's turn to show that he is, after all, not invincible on the red dirt.

However, after some secret investigation, the B/R spoof team once again uncovered the truth behind Roger Federer's best chance of winning RG.

It has been learned from reliable sources in the Swedish camp that the appointment of Magnus Norman as Robin Soderling's coach was just an eyewash to throw people off the trail. He was really a front man for the cameras.

Soderling's real coach, then? Well, it wasn't one, but two: a certain Mr. Federer and a certain Mr. Djokovic. Wasn't it all too evident from the way he was serving and blasting forehand after forehand, complemented with a devastating two-handed backhand?

Ever since his embarrassing 6-1, 6-0 loss to Nadal this clay season, Soderling had been looking for a way to wipe away the shame. In steps Federer, who is pursuing the only Grand Slam to elude him.

He is joined as a coaching partner by Djokovic, who thinks, "if I can't beat Nadal despite all I've done, then I might as well train someone else to do it."

So, by all means, it was a meeting of three men who were joined by the common goal of seeing Rafa's pink back ushered back to Spain.

The deal was that Soderling would eliminate Nadal, and Federer and Djokovic would play out the semifinal in their half of the draw. This would simply be billed as the unofficial final.

But Federer's need to lift this Grand Slam trophy led him to plan the ultimate double-cross. While Djokovic was teaching Soderling how to paint the lines with a two-handed backhand, Federer was very discreetly coaching Philipp Kohlschreiber on how to tame the Serb.

When Djokovic was informed of this double-cross, he simply smiled and said, "I think it's OK. After all, there is a certain grass-court tournament coming up very soon, and unthinkable upsets can happen there as well."

It certainly seems that Djokovic has something planned for Wimbledon, but he is playing his cards pretty close to the chest. However, the B/R spoof team did manage to catch a glimpse of Djokovic having a chat with a certain Russian who is on his farewell tour in the corner of their hotel restaurant. 

While attempting to capture the meeting on our B/R-cam, our photographer returned with a fat lip and the Head racquet logo imprinted on his face.

And the B/R-cam? Well, let's just say that the warranty is now null and void.