Cheap Seats * * * Portland Trailblazers: The Next NBA Dynasty

If you are a Blazer fan, then you’re probably nuts. You play GM in your mind thousands of times a day. You’ve somehow figured out a way for Portland to get Michael Beasley AND Derrick Rose in the draft. You’ve admitted that you’d be disappointed if the team only wins three championships in the next ten years. If you really are a Blazer fan, you’re more than likely blinded by potential. But hell, that’s only because the future is blinding.

People who don’t follow the Blazers just don’t understand. We all know these people. Like your buddy Ralph who concludes that in a few years, the top team in the west will be the Golden State Warriors. You ask him how that’s possible, and he replies that the Warriors have loads of young talent. Befuddled as you may be, you gather your thoughts and ask him how he expects his team to compete with Portland. “Who’s going to guard Oden” you ask? “Andris Biedrins!” Ralph exclaims. “He’s young, athletic and has spikey hair. I’m telling you, he could shut Oden down.” You laugh for a minute, only to find out that Ralph was completely serious. He looks at the utter shock on your face and says, “man, no one knows about the Warriors. Look at their team bro! Baron Davis! Stephen Jackson! Biedrins! And Monta Ellis! You guys will be good, but having Monta Ellis alone will be enough to win the west.” You know this is a battle you can’t win. It’s impossible to argue with someone who is retarded. It would be like trying to convince Larry the Cable Guy to watch the Martha Stewart Show. Since you see no point in arguing with Ralph over whether the Blazers have more potential than the Warriors, you instead plot to suffocate him in his sleep. You get into bed at night and ponder how it’s actually possible that there are humans who believe Golden State will be better than the Blazers come 2009. You chuckle, shake your head, and proceed to cry until you drift off into visions of Oden with rings on his toes.

To put it simply, the Blazers have more potential than any professional basketball team has ever had. Ever. Don’t let Ralph tell you differently. Who cares if no one on ESPN is talking about it. We’ll probably get some coverage when we start shoveling in trophies. Just in case there is anybody reading this who doesn’t agree with me, I’m going to try and explain everything to you, unless you are Ralph, in which case you should probably do what’s best and jump off the Burnside Bridge. For the rest of you, here is this year’s roster:

PG: Steve Blake, Jarrett Jack, Sergio Rodriguez
SG: Brandon Roy, Von Wafer,
SF: James Jones, Martell Webster, Travis Outlaw, Darius Miles
PF: LaMarcus Aldridge, Channing Frye, Raef LaFrentz, Josh McRoberts
C:  Greg Oden, Joel Pryzbilla.

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