Five Things You Never Wanted To Know About Donovan McNabb

(Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images for EAG Sports Management)

One of my first assignments here at Bleacher Report might be one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to think about.

The assignment, as stated, is this: “Pick any player from your team (in my case, the Eagles), and list all of the questions you would ask for a feature interview.”

Now, there are 53 guys and a whole bunch of possibilities. You could ask Donovan McNabb quite a bit, but he’s everyone’s sexy pick. You could seek out a free agent signing or draft pick, but what might they offer? Or maybe choose a defensive player, asking them how the loss of Brian Dawkins and Jim Johnson’s indefinite absence will affect them. You could even ask long snapper Jon Dorenbos about his status as an amateur magician, or Sav Rocca about shrimp on the barbie.

But you know what? You really can’t, because any good writer or interviewer knows the key to conducting a good, fruitful interview is actually listening to what your subject says. Unless you’re doing a lengthy interview on one specific topic or it‘s a post-game analysis type of interview, all you really need is a few good general questions (more than one so a “No comment” doesn’t kill you) and a good set of ears.

In my dozen years of adulthood, I’ve worked in many avenues of journalism and interviewed people from all walks of life and entertainment. From Hulk Hogan to Chris Webber to Josey Scott from Saliva, from the nervous 16-year-old kid trying to get a fry cook job to the Mayor of Orlando, I’ve gotten them all. I’ve asked every stock question in the book, but the best (and most fun) results have always come from the subject going off on tangents and showing off their personality.

But for the sake of this assignment, I came up with a few good questions. And yes, I’m going to pick Donovan McNabb, just because I like him. But this won’t be about Terrell Owens, his new offensive weapons, or being benched in Baltimore.

No, what follows is something different: Five things you never wanted to know about Donovan McNabb.

Question 1: So you’re from Chicago, went to Syracuse University and have spent your whole NFL career in Philadelphia. Ever think of moving to a warmer climate?

Makes sense, doesn’t it? I’ve never lived in Syracuse or Chicago, but I know people who have, and it’s not pretty. Philadelphia does get quite nice in the summer, but you try navigating a New Jersey jug handle in a blizzard and see how soon you’ll wish you were on Miami Beach in a Hawaiian shirt and sandals.

Come to think of it, that sounds a lot like the Buffett concert I went to at Citizens Bank Park last summer. Regardless, Donovan’s in his 30s now; no one can fault him if he wants to sit on his porch and drink pina coladas with no pants on during the offseason.

And for the record, yes...I know he actually lives in Arizona.

Question 2: Pat’s, Geno’s, Jim’s, or Tony Luke’s? (With follow-ups: Whiz or American, with or without?)

OK, so maybe a finely conditioned athlete shouldn’t be expected to be a connoisseur of artery-clogging deliciousness. But this isn’t just any artery-clogger; this is the cheesesteak, the staple of Philadelphia.

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