Super Weird Sports Stuff You Can Actually Own
Do you remember all that stuff that, as a young fan, you just seemed to pile up through your years of watching and going to sporting events?
You know, like the things that teams try so sneakily to give away in hopes that you show up early for your free life-sized, stuffed mascot doll?
Yeah, well those things tend to wear out their welcome pretty fast—along with a lot of other absurd sports items—and I dug through the annals of the Internet and was able to find some of the weirdest.
Nearly Anything You Want from Curt Schilling's House
It's never a good thing when a former athlete is forced to sell off some of their items that I'm sure were once invaluable to them.
But thanks to some unfortunate spending habits, it can happen sometimes.
So if you're a huge Curt Schilling fan, go ahead and look through his house for what you think is a must-have—because nearly everything on the lot is up for grabs.
Janet Gretzky Autographed Poster
I know that Janet Gretzky is the wife of former superstar hockey player Wayne Gretzky—along with being the mother of mega-hottie Paulina Gretzky—but there's not a single person out there who can convince me they need this in their room.
An autographed poster of "The Great One" on a wall nowadays is actually a little weird—having one of his wife is a hell of a lot more bizarre.
Miami Heat Disposable Camera
You'd think that a high-end, fashionable city like Miami would know that there's absolutely no need for a disposable camera these days.
I mean, come on, don't they have super-duper, high-res lenses that nearly everyone owns down there for pictures of models and athletes?
Guess not, because the Miami Heat have decided to still offer one—it must be the punishment for their fans leaving early.
The White Bronco Used in the O.J. Simpson Chase
I've heard of guys who have a car collection, but this one's a little more odd than those dudes I know.
We probably all remember that epic car chase that former NFL player O.J. Simpson took the L.A.P.D. back in 1994.
Well apparently the white, Ford Bronco in which O.J. was riding shotgun in was such a hot commodity to one fan that he paid $75,000 to the driver that day, Al Cowlings, a former high school, college and pro teammate of Simpson's.
Just so you know, that's nearly as expensive as a brand new Range Rover these days.
Chicago Blackhawks Frog Statue
Maybe I'm just dumb here, but what on earth does a frog have to do with the Chicago Blackhawks?
Supposedly, it's enough of a "mascot" for the team that this mini statue is an item that a fan can purchase in the team shop.
Making matters worse, it costs $24.95—looks like I know what to ask for this year for the holidays.
Game Used Baseball
I've actually poked fun at the old guys—OK, anyone over the age of 13—who go all out by bringing their glove to a baseball game in hopes of snagging one for themselves.
My argument has been that the thing costs about seven bucks and isn't worth being the butt of jokes for a major league fail when a liner comes your way.
Looks like I was wrong though, because multiple teams keep these things around to sell to fans.
In this case, it's a ball that went for a single of Scott Kazmir earlier this year.
No significance whatsoever, but they still want $40 for it—I call foul on that!
New York Knicks Zombie Figurine
If any New York Knicks fans thought the team have looked scary this season, well...I think you know where I'm going with that miserable attempt at a joke.
Go ahead and prove that you know exactly what it takes to support the Knickerbockers by owning this little zombie donning the team's logo.
I'm guessing this was just a Halloween-promoted gift, and not something fans can scoop up year-round—but who knows, people are expecting a zombie apocalypse to happen soon, right?
Dream Team Two Sports Impressions Plate
While the original Dream Team that participated in the '92 Olympic Games often gets mentioned as the greatest basketball team ever assembled, the encore squad put together for the '94 FIBA World Championships was, well, a lot different.
But if you want to own the plate with guys like Dan Majerle, Shawn Kemp and, yes, even Derrick Coleman, than be my guest, because it can be all yours for just 20 bucks!
Super Bowl XXIX Fanny Pack
Fanny packs shouldn't even be reserved for mom's at amusement parks anymore, yet someone still thinks that they're in style with this Super Bowl XXIX version of one.
As if the fact that someone wearing a fanny pack isn't bad enough, maybe the mismatched, teal adjustable belt will make you the laughingstock of anywhere you go.
D.C. United Yard Gnome
Just like the aforementioned New York Knicks zombie and Chicago Blackhawks frog, this D.C. United yard gnome really makes you wonder what kind of market research some of the these teams do.
I couldn't imagine anyone in the D.C.-area is driving all over town looking for the best gnome to begin with, but if for some reason they are, the MLS club has them covered.
Jacksonville Jaguars Inflatable Sled
OK, so this one is just perplexing to me.
I admit that I haven't been to Florida besides a handful of times, but in my experiences, it's always been pretty sunny and warm.
So seeing the Jacksonville Jaguars give away an inflatable sled doesn't really make too much sense—but then again, maybe Jacksonville residents are just dreaming of a white Christmas this year?
Jeff Nelson's Bone Chips
Not only is this one of the most bizarre pieces of memorabilia a fan could ever own—it's a piece of another person's arm—but it's from a guy who made one All-Star appearance in his 15-year career.
Sure, that's a hell of a lot more than I can claim for myself, but you'd think a fan willing to fork over nearly $24,000 for it would want at least a Hall of Famer.
Some people just don't have standards I guess?
Art Modell's Toilet
As a Cleveland Browns fan, I often think that former owner Art Modell treated our entire fan base like a bunch of turds thanks to him moving the team to Baltimore before the 1996 season.
Turns out I wasn't too far off that assumption, as one diehard agreed with me and may have just wanted all that turd back Modell threw at us by splitting town, offering to buy the toilet of the former owner.
Curt Schilling's Bloody Sock
One of the most intriguing storylines in MLB playoff history, former Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling made history when pitching with a bloody sock in Game 6 of the 2004 ALCS against the New York Yankees.
As I mentioned earlier with Schilling, thanks to some poor financial decisions—namely putting millions of his own money into a since-failed gaming company—he was forced to sell-off some of his prized possessions.
To you or me, hearing someone actually paid over $93,000 for another man's bloody sock would sound ludicrous, but it happened—and was far less than Schilling had hoped.
Hulk Hogan Autographed Soda Ad
If there's one thing that every true wrestling fan needs, it might just be this—an autographed Circle K poster of Hulk Hogan holding two different sized soda cups.
We've all seen some really weird stuff on Ebay before, but this honestly might just be one of the most ridiculous.
As a quick shout-out to "The Hulkster," I'm glad he told the person he was signing it for to, "Stay Cool!"—some mighty words of wisdom right there.
Editor's Note: Sadly, this was sold within the past few hours.
Adam Morrison Bloodied Nose Gauze
It might be hard to believe for some of you younger readers, but yes, former NBA player Adam Morrison was once a college basketball god.
That explains why, after sustaining a bloody nose in a game against Pepperdine in 2006, the gauze that he wore to help hold back the blood was put on Ebay to some disgustingly, lucky fan—bidding as much as $22.50 for it.
I could be wrong, but someone could buy an entire package of unused gauze for that price—which sounds like a much better investment.
Boston Red Sox Players' Beard Trimmings
For all of us who knew about the beards that the Boston Red Sox sported throughout the 2013 season, we probably all should have seen this coming, right?
In an effort to help promote awareness of prostate cancer in "Movember," players took a razor to their face to rid themselves of the itchy fur.
An amazing idea for a great cause, but still.
Oh well, this isn't the first (or last) time we'll see an athlete shave for a cause.
Used Champagne Bottle from the A.L. West Celebration
I'm not sure where to even start with this one.
Sure, there's a specialized label on the side of this champagne bottle that acknowledges it as one that Oakland A's players used to spray each other in their celebration of this year's A.L. West crown, but who would pay $30 to have an empty bottle?
I'd much rather just save my cash up for some Ace of Spades.
Michael Jordan's Flu Game Shoes
I'm under the assumption that every sports fan has heard about the former Utah Jazz ball boy who scored Michael Jordan's shoes from Game 5 of the '97 NBA Finals—otherwise known as the "Flu Game," when MJ dropped 38 points with flu-like symptoms.
As someone who's currently wearing some throwback J's himself, it's safe to say this is one item that I'd definitely want to snag.
One problem though—auctioneers are predicting they could sell for as high as $80,000—meaning I probably won't be placing a bid anytime soon.
Luis Gonzalez's Chewed Gum
After all the weird things I've found Online, I still couldn't unseat the $10,000 that a fan paid for a piece of chewed gum from former Arizona Diamondbacks World Series hero, Luis Gonzalez.
Most people typically just spit their gum out onto the ground or down a sewer when they're done with it, so to think someone dropped a cool 10 grand on some that a baseball player gnawed on is mind-blowing to me.
Like others on this list, it was all for charity—thankfully—but still, that's a lot of loot to pay for a saliva-filled treat.