The Most Insane Sports Video Games Ever Made
While I'm not a huge gamer—so a special shoutout to resident video game expert Gabe Zaldivar—I think every sports fan can admit that they've gone through a period of playing sports video games at some point in their lives.
And although games like Madden, FIFA and Mike Tyson's Punch-Out are always classics, some developers feel like switching things up is always a good plan.
Ehh, not so much.
Just take a look at some of these insane sports video games to see why creating one doesn't always mean it's going to be a hit.
Nintendo World Cup
For all of you who still own an NES and, for some reason, have Nintendo World Cup laying around, that's the code that gets you to the final match.
Why I remember that, I have no idea.
Maybe it's because I used to play this game religiously—especially during winter break, when there seemingly wasn't anything else to do as a second grader.
Needless to say, the game was more than insane, combining Street Fighter-like body checks with a flying soccer ball that, when passed just right, would set up five guaranteed goals per half by way of a special kick.
Seeing that the computer rarely scored, giving the user 10 free goals a game made this a game where the player never lost.
NFL Head Coach
So wait a second here. There's actually a video game that was released in which the user doesn't even actually play it?
EA Sports' NFL Head Coach pretty much took the concept of Franchise mode of Madden—where gamers were able to run everything for a single team—and just limited it to coaching.
Yeah, I'd think it was.
I specifically love the reception and pitch that a gamer could, "be the next Don Shula or Dennis Erickson," which is a hard sell for kids to aspire to be through a lame video game.
This is strictly a personal choice—because some people I know loved NBA Street—but I absolutely hated this game.
Trying to parlay off the popularity of street ball becoming more mainstream thanks to numerous viral videos, the NBA thought tossing their players to the blacktops would be a fun little idea.
Not so much.
It's as if this game wanted to take some elements of NBA Jam and EA Sports' NBA Live to create something compelling for gamers.
I just don't think it was very fun.
As if seeing a quarterback turn his back to the defense and run full speed in the opposite direction before heaving "Da Bomb" for a 95-yard touchdown wasn't realistic enough—as this video shows—maybe some of these other ridiculous plays from NFL Blitz will prove why this game was insane.
Sure, everyone seemed to love the backyard football-type gameplay of this—especially in comparison to the more realistic Madden series—but after awhile, there were only so many deep balls and elbow drops a user could have fun with.
Michael Phelps: Push the Limit
Even the name itself sounds lame.
But what made the greatest Olympian ever fail to even medal when his video game came out in 2011 was that it lacked any sort of entertainment factor.
I mean, swimming isn't something people like to do normally, so having users do it in a digital world sounds even more miserable.
If you happened to own this game, I'm guessing you wanted to—or already have—tossed it into the deep end without any regret of seeing it drown.
Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball
Now don't get me wrong, I have mad respect for former Detroit Pistons "Bad Boy" Bill Laimbeer—after all, he has two NBA rings, three WNBA titles as a head coach and went to four All-Star Games—but what made anyone think that he deserved a video game?
That's not the worst part, though—the actual gameplay is.
Hoping to profit on Laimbeer's intense style of play, producers of this game should get slapped with a technical foul for putting together a game that's more of a hockey game than one that uses a basketball.
If you were hoping to buy a traditional baseball game when MLB Slugfest first got released in 2004, well, you were seriously disappointed with what you actually got.
Rather than take the chance of being thrown out in an attempt to steal a base, just knee an opposing player in the nuts and see if you can't advance to the next base.
I guess it's a little break from the more serious baseball video games we've all played for years, but was this really the way to replace those?
Come to think of it, baseball games in general are a bit of a drag.
Jerry Glanville’s Pigskin Footbrawl
I'm not quite sure why former NFL head coach Jerry Glanville wanted to slap his name onto a game that's supposed to be set in 621 A.D., but apparently he thought his coaching style fit perfectly for a bunch of cavemen and vikings.
As you'd probably expect, there are trolls that can lend a helping hand for a team and make sure the players avoid all the divots and logs that litter the field.
Football is often referred to as a gladiatorial sport, but this game may have taken the comparison a bit too literally.
Besides being a fan of former NBA baller Shaquille O'Neal, I'd really like to hear the reasoning that anyone would want to purchase this game.
First of all, the name of the game is Shaq Fu. That's the same Shaq that plays basketball, not competes in MMA.
Second, if you were in a GameStop and needed to decide on just one game to buy with your allowance back in 1994 when this game was released, by the cover alone, your decision should have been easy.
And lastly, what the hell were the developers of this game smoking when they were putting it together, because it's something that couldn't have been imagined while completely sober.
Take-Out Weight Curling
I know that the Olympic sport of curling has suddenly become a little bit of a cult phenomenon, but did I miss something in that people are actually willing to sit down and play it as a video game?
Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't really think this could be all that fun, tapping buttons to try to brush the ice for the stone to slow down.
I'd go ahead and bet that this game didn't sell too well on the shelves, but, then again, I'm also not a diehard curling fan.
Slam City with Scottie Pippen
If you like one-on-one battles, then you might be interested in this individual blacktop battle in which you play as Scottie Pippen and go against other playground ballers.
Sounds awesome, doesn't it?
The game itself clearly is a terrible concept, but I'd like to mention that Pippen performed the theme song himself, meaning everything about this game title was a disaster.
Jam City Rollergirls
It's a game about roller derby.
I repeat—a game about roller derby!
Go ahead and let that sink in for a second.
OK, you back?
I'm not sure if playing a game that mimics the hardcore battles of a roller derby event is supposed to be entertaining or not, but seeing how it's pretty much described as Mario Kart on skates, I'd much rather just post up as Yoshi and collect oversized eggs and other fantasy objects.
Mutant League Hockey
Much like the aforementioned Jerry Glanville's Pigskin Footbrawl game, this hockey title is supposed to make the game a lot more extreme.
I could go ahead and explain the various "awesome and outrageous mutants" who skate around on the ice, but I'd just rather let this video sell you on why this was the most "ruthless and violent hockey game ever."
If bribing an official is frowned upon in real life, have no fear, because it's fair game in Mutant League Hockey.
Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City
Michael Jordan rarely struck out when it came to putting his name on things, but it's safe to say that even MJ came up with an airball with his Chaos in the Windy City video game.
While MJ nailed it with Jordan vs. Bird—a classic—his character here as a crime fighter tossing basketballs with super powers wasn't as appealing.
It's getting cold out this time of year, so if you need to start a fire for warmth, your copy of this game would be a good fire-starter.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to compete in the Iditarod?
Yeah, probably not.
But apparently there was enough interest for video game developer DevCat Studios to actually release a dog sledding game.
There's no way in hell this is fun for anyone who plays it, but surprisingly, it still garnered a cult status from gamers who wanted to basically play The Oregon Trail on snow.