Not in my wildest, beer soaked dreams would I ever imagine my favorite quarterback Brett Favre playing for a dirty rival like the Minnesota Vikings. Brett Favre on the Green Bay Packers was as sure of a thing as a sunrise in the east or a hangover after drinking Milwaukee's Best Ice.
Forget the New York Jets. Real Packer fans knew that plan was going to fail (I created a Facebook page here minutes after the trade went down). I'm willing to accept the fact that he still wanted to play and could adapt to a change of scenery. Whatever Brett, do what you wanna do!
But the Vikings? That team from up north with all the slow drivers and the mausoleum-feeling Metrodome? There is NO WAY that No. 4 would even think of donning the leagues most garish looking uniforms and coming out of the tunnel in a FREAKIN' DOME!
Sadly, my nightmarish Milwaukee's Best hangover has come true. Sort of.
Everyone knows by now that Favre wants to sign with Minnesota. He's getting examined by the renowned Dr. James Andrews, who for some reason won't return my calls for a new patient consultation. If the worlds most booked-solid doctor gives him the green light, then it's off to the land of 10,000 lakes.
Don't let Brett fool you into thinking that he's only doing this because he "loves the game." He wants to stick it to Ted Thompson and the Packers organization so badly that he'd start rocking Diesel jeans instead of Wranglers if it meant he got to play his old team twice a year.
And you know what? I'm cool with that. In fact, I actually want Brett to play for the Vikings. Because as far as I'm concerned, Brett Favre has clearly passed his prime, and his impending struggle will actually delight me as a Packer fan.
I know he's won us a Super Bowl, and I cannot forget about the three MVP's. He brought the Packers back into the national spotlight and made us relevant again in the process.
And for that, I thank him dearly. But now, he can do Green Bay and the fine folks of Wisconsin the biggest favor by insisting that he can still play and signing with the Vikings.
Then, it will all fall apart. Brett Favre is damaged goods, or in the words of Sean Avery, "sloppy seconds."
He'll throw lots of interceptions, Adrian Peterson will grow tired of not getting as many handoffs, and the locker room will be divided between Brett and the rest of the team. Win or lose in Wisconsin, it's ALWAYS a good day when the Vikings struggle!
So by all means Brett, don the purple No. 4 and ride out into the hollow, family room atmosphere of the Metrodome. By week seven Brad Childress will have lost his job and a spicy quarterback battle of Favre/Rosenfels/Jackson will be in progress. I'm almost blinded by anticipation with the thought of three different starting quarterbacks in a span of three weeks!
Just do it, Brett. I'll pour a Beast Ice down for you when you finish 5-11.