Fearless 2008 Draft Predictions:
Every year, the NFL Draft is full of strange events, backroom intrigues and memorable player moments. This year will be no exception. Here are the top 3 2008 NFL Draft predictions as submitted by the last 3 viewers left awake after last years 39 straight hours of draft coverage on ESPN, ESPN2, The Bass Fisherman Channel, and KOLD 11 Public Access TV for the Aleutian Islands.
- Unable to decide upon Chris Long or Jake Long as the No. 1 pick, the Miami Dolphins decide to take the safe route and select Huey Long, the former governor of Louisiana. After the selection, ownership immediately announces the relocation of the Dolphins to Baton Rouge where the team will be called the Baton Rouge Crawfish. “We feel Huey gives us immediate credibility and leadership at all levels of the organization. The relocation to Baton Rougewill give us the fan support and access to Mardi Gras festivities that we feel are essential to a modern football franchise.” When informed that Huey Long has been dead for quite some time , a team spokesman will note that Long fits right in with the Dolphin offense which has also been dead for quite some time.
- Projected to be selected in the first round, Oklahoma wide receiver Malcolm Kelly falls to the 6th round where he is taken by the Kansas City Chiefs. When Kelly is asked why he thinks he fell to the 6th round, Kelly immediately starts yelling about the slow carpet near the draft podium, claiming that Tampa Bay was going to select him at Pick 20 but couldn’t make it to the stage with a sub-10 minute time.
- In a shocking primetime moment, the front cover of 2008 Madden NFL will be premiered just prior to the first round. As frightened fans speculate as to the unlucky player doomed to the Madden curse, an EA Sports press release relieves the tension. “EA Sports listens to its fans and therefore the format of Madden NFL has been switched so that no individual player will be featured on the game’s cover. Instead, the cover will feature fans and personalities of the game. To honor our long association with the NFL and the NFL Draft, the first cover personality will be longtime draft analyst Mel Kiper,” Overcome with emotion at this honor, Kiper gets up to walk to the press podium, slips on his tube of Dapper Dan Hair Treatment and falls into a deep crevasse filled with lava that has somehow just opened up right next the podium.