Five Ways To Get Junior Back on Track

B Brand by Correspondent Written on May 18, 2009
FORT WORTH, TX - APRIL 04:  Dale Earnhardt Jr., driver of the #5 Fastenal Chevrolet, stands on the grid during the NASCAR Nationwide Series O'Reilly 300 at Texas Motor Speedway on April 4, 2009 in Fort Worth, Texas.  (Photo by John Harrelson/Getty Images) (Photo by John Harrelson/Getty Images)

Too much time has been spent covering why Dale Earnhardt Jr. can't seem to win this year. There's the debate over his crew chief, and whether Earnhardt's lost his edge or desire to drive.

There's the blame game and finger pointing that takes place week after week. And of course, there are those racing junkies (a kind description) who debate everything under the hood, and then some.

I just happen to think it's all going a little overboard.

There are really a few simple things they (we) need to do to get him back in Victory Lane.

1. Convince him that every track is really Talladega. He did well there and loves this track. Of course, convincing him that a road course is really Talladega might take some doing. Then again, it might not be a good idea to take the turns on a road course at 200 MPH.

2. Put his dog's picture on the pit road sign. He's obviously an animal lover based on his two dogs, two cats, etc. So put one of his beloved pets up there.

Of course this doesn't mean other drivers won't follow with pics of their beloved pets and create more confusion on pit road, but then how many have pet buffalo? I'm thinking Laverne and Shirley on the pit road sign might be the answer.

3. Record Chad Knaus and play his voice every time Earnhardt asks a question. Maybe he'll think Knaus is making the calls, and won't debate every one of them for 20 laps.

4. Start his car off with the No. 5 on it. Then when it's in the garage, peal off the numbers (while he's watching) and make it the No. 88. He'll think he's getting one of Mark Martin's cars, which have won two races this year.

5. And if all else fails...threaten him that he's gotta have dinner with Teresa Earnhardt once a week until he wins.

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written on May 18, 2009 Humor

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