Thanks for the title. Aah! A title after seven months [Hell! That AAMI Classic was just a stupid exhibition tournament!] and finally a Masters title after 21 months [Can't believe...just so very un-Federer-esque!!].
You know this was the best gift I could have given to Mirka post-marriage. [Seriously, it had become such a prestige issue losing easy matches like that even after getting married!]
More than everything, I eventually managed to beat you black and blue on your own domain in front of your own home crowd and prevented your "Sorry Roger for the loss!" Aah! The joy it gives...you know, I had been counting every single day of the last four months for this. [Heck, you had made me a crybaby in front of the whole world!!]
Can you believe it that with this, I became the only player to defeat you twice in clay-court finals? Wow! Though hope to make it thrice in three weeks' time [Getting that secret recipe from Gaston!].
Though you know I actually need to thank that Nole boy for doing such a favour [He saved me the money I was supposed to spend on a headshrinker had I lost to you!].
He should be content with the fact that he played in the longest three-set match in Masters Tennis history [Though I know half of the time went to your butt-picking and Nole’s toss for the zillionth time!].
Anyway, let him come on in Paris...My hands are itching for the Royal Rome Revenge [Can't stop cursing that idiotic rain!].
You know I now want to see the faces of those dumb critics, who have never held a racquet in their hands in their entire lives...yet go on saying that I, Roger Federer, am on the decline?
Lastly, hope to see you on 7th June, fit and fine of course, and even if that turns out to be a flop for me [which I desperately hope not], be ready for the meeting on 5th July. With the new roof, lush green and super-fast courts, it should be my playground! So beware...
Roger Federer [The G.O.A.T.]
[P.S. Don’t you think you could have made your Madrid loss look a bit more realistic by shedding a few tears...?]