A John Cena Solution for Bedtime

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A John Cena Solution for Bedtime
(Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images)

John Cena is a highly controversial wrestler. WWE wants him to be he next Hulk Hogan. You know what? They've succeeded. John Cena is just like Hulk Hogan, except with  better wrestling ability that some cannot see due to his character making some moves unsuitable.

But I'm not here to defend John Cena. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. I'm not here to talk about his wrestling ability, but WWE's treatment of him.

Hulk Hogan's character didn't have depth. Neither does John Cena's. Vince McMahon was reportedly upset at how Cena was booed by audiences as he settled into his current gimmick.

That's understandable. He wanted another Hulk Hogan. All promoters want big stars. The problem is, a Hulk Hogan type character doesn't work anymore. Pro wrestling has changed with the times. 

John Cena is a big inspiration and favourite of children. Just like Hogan. He is usually victorious in matches. Hogan again. He is predictable and as a character, represents a perfect good guy. One more, like Hogan.

The thing is, good pro wrestling characters have depth. They have imperfections which, ironically, bring them closer to perfection than starting of with a supposedly perfect good guy/heel.

Development and history, change like that of humans, brings them depth that we are interested in. Certain demographics have proved to appreciate Cena more and to be more faithful. But the majority aren't. Pro wrestling has changed.

By the same token, some things stay the same. A good promotion listens to their fans. A great promotion would realise their errors when they make them. The best promotions understand the value of time. Part of this means knowing certain tings cannot succeed like they used to.

Many have suggested and wanted Cena to turn heel. That caters to some demographics, but not to others and Cena is wanted by WWE to be a big face, a big draw. He does a lot of community work.

Some don't like that he is a "company man" but I see that as loyalty, something to be treasured in the pro wrestling business where it is deserved.

For those, I address a question. Please ask yourself: if WWE ran more to your tastes, would you still lament his being a company man? Maybe you just don't like his attitude because there you don't like the company approach. You might want one of their top superstars to criticise the business to suit your opinion. Perhaps, or perhaps not.

What's more important is that John Cena, if he can be a great face, loved by most, will make WWE  a lot of money. WWE has a potential golden goose on their hands. What WWE needs to do is solve the Cena problem: How to make Cena loved by many without changing his character significantly?

Here is my humble, fantasy solution.

Cena cannot be a mere heel. he cannot merely revert to his rapper days. At the same time, he needs depth and attitude. He needs to be more human. Even The Undertaker is more human as he represents a bad-ass Gothic attitude many of us admire.

Cena is relatively plain. How can society fully appreciate and like him as a wrestler? Many can, but not enough for him to be a great face at the moment.

Here's my fantasy solution. get ready for a bedtime story. get cosy, go to the toilet if you need to...

Once upon a time, in a  wrestling ring far, far, away John Cena had reached the breaking point. He had enough of fans deriding him. A man can only take so much and he had given so much to a business he loved. Yet, wherever he goes he got jeers as well as cheers.

John Cena had tried and tried and tried. Then, he came to a realisation. He came down to the ring and told the world that he wanted to give every member of the audience an Attitude Adjustment (with the exceptions of women, the US Military, children and some men for has no problems with his supporters and could not bear to hurt them anyway.)

Cena told the world as tempted as he was, he was a good man and could not do it. But, he could give himself an Attitude Adjustment. He told the world he had enough of the naysayers. He demands respect for the blood, sweat and tears, the sacrifices he has made.

Now, it is "My Life," he says and proceeds to tell his supporters to be wary of  nasty people who hurt feelings. He informs the crowd they will learn to like him as he isn't going away, oh no. In fact, he plans to get a Championship once more to show everyone that when it comes to Cena, "You Can't Beat Me."

He demands an opponent and one comes to the ring. Just before he wins, Cena tells the crowd, "its time to upgrade" and uses a variant of his former finishing move (this new move would be a Standing Firemen's Carry Powerbomb, if you must know).

He proves his point, "You Can't Beat Me" and leaves the building. Over the next few months, he raps against those who don't support him, because in tough times one must get tough.

To all others he's the same old Cena, though Cryme Tyme and R-Truth tell him he's got new-found street-cred. As time goes on, the fans cheer. Cena doesn't stop as he feels  they're just jumping on the bandwagon now that Cena is cool again.

Eventually, he mellows and Cena lived happily ever after as a face not afraid to be tough and be rough with rap when the time comes. The End.

What do you think of this fantasy? I personally think that this way, WWE gets the star they want, Cena gets to continue being what he wants to be on-screen and more fans get what they want. Cena gets more personality, more depth and as a result is more interesting to the general populace.

But, I want to know your opinions. How do you feel about this? Is this possible solution flawed? I hope you to think about Cena and the situation WWE is in with him.

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