Greg Paulus Made a Good Decision for Syracuse (and His Loins)

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Greg Paulus Made a Good Decision for Syracuse (and His Loins)
(Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

As everyone connected to Syracuse wrangles whether or not the Paulus decision to play football at Syracuse was a good one or not, we like to think of the reasons why he chose to stay in school and return back to Syracuse to participate in the struggling tackle football program.

For those of you that didn't get to appreciate the college experience, it's pretty kind to young, attractive college athletes and their loin area. It really is a clean sweep for both parties here, and will eventually be great public relations for the University and football program.

While you will hear the reasoning from the experts and talking points around why he returned to Syracuse and decided to play football in college, we like to think it was more of a chauvinistic and sophomoric college mindset that brought this triumphal return.


College Chicks are nice


You were once the starting point guard for one of the most prolific college basketball programs in the country. Translation, you probably enjoyed some nice southern poon.

How do you top that? Why not become a Division I college quarterback as well? Why can't we admit that you will never be in this Poon arena again after graduating college? Period.

Enjoy it while you can, Greg, and make the most of those co-eds that will be coming up to you at Parties and saying, "I have never been with a former Duke point guard before?"

College girls often make bad decisions. You could be at the maundering intersection of the bad decision trivet. For the rest of us, Greg, take advantage of this. Don't let us down and partake in this hot mess that is college women decisionmaking skills after drinking.

We all would have loved to entwine ourselves in this predicament and can now live this through you.

 

Why work now, just play football.

Jesus Effin Christ. You can toss the pigskin around on the weekend, and we have to live the daily grind during the week. College football is better than the real world, Greg, take advantage.

It's a shitty economy, time are tough for thousands, and not many people are hiring right now. Just complete five and outs to your boy from CBA and make us think it was worth paying over $5 for a shitty, watered-down beer.

Good luck at Syracuse and for all the bashers out there, tell them to suck it. You are living every young man's fantasy right now. *We are all jealous, Greg*

Asher Roth may have compiled a calamity of a music piece, but you have to appreciate the honesty and the smirk you get when hearing this horrible snip of noise...

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