Dr. Troll Love or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Troll

Paul StankowskiCorrespondent IMay 16, 2009

KNOXVILLE, TN - SEPTEMBER 20: Quarterback Jonathan Crompton #8 of the Tennessee Volunteers looks to throw against the Florida Gators at Neyland Stadium on September 20, 2008 in Knoxville, Tennessee.  (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

Anyone who has ever been to any site that had anything to do with sports, knows about the "Troll". Whether you know them by this name or the synonym, "interloper", or just that douche that posts mean stuff about your team, the name that you call them in definiton is far better than what you will call them on the message boards. You'll rail against their inflammatory comments about your favorite team, they'll come back with a snarky comment about your state, you'll accuse them of having borderline personality disorder for sitting on your team's message board all day. And thus begins the waltz...

gatorz5 writes:

Look, only one thing matters. Meyer is 5-0 against the Vols.

This will go on almost every day. The back and forth becomes more personal, the results of posts from days prior that have revealed specific facts are referenced, you check the boards three times a day to see who told gatorz to pick the Teebow panties out of his "azz", purposely misspelled to avoid the "word police". And you'll never get totally tired of the nonsense this guy posts, day after day after day. All day, I kid you not, this guy will camp out on your team's message board. And you'll be right there along with him just to see with what idiocy he can top yesterday's bluster.

And he's got friends! I mean he has friends in anonymity on this message board, because, c'mon, there is no way that a guy who lives on another team's message board could have any living, breathing fans! That would require him actually doing something other than setting himself up for the abuse and rancor that you and your gang of home board homies are more than willing to pile on his idiotic azz.

BobbeaVol writes:

Psychologists have learned that there is a group of Tennesseeans with SEVERE anger issues ( with some inferiority complexes ). The only common thread that they can find was their parents forced them to watch Florida beat Tennessee ,four years in a row ( 1994-1997) They seemed to have developed a sort of sick attachment to the person who caused these losses ( Peyton Manning). Can't understand it , but it's just a sad situation.

99gator writes:

a couple of things from this article.....

1. i'm glad someone else acknowledged that dee morley is overrated.

2. fulmer left the cupboard bare. so, some of you thinking 9 wins is a possibility or strong possibility need to remember that.

3. as time goes by, there are hints being dropped here and there that tennessee doesn't have a qb that could even be classified as average. so, quit worrying about who wins the job. there is no good choice.

But you know, when you really look at it, you need gatorz, DCFlorida, kman29, checkeredpast, and even the purported Tennessee fans that really aren't like BobbeaVol. I need gatorz and his "buddies". We all need our gatorz in the lean and lonely sports abyss that is the summer....


Is this the best y'all have to offer on this fine morning?

We'll "fear the Kiffin" right after we get finished fearing Randy Shannon and Rich Brooks.

If you wanted your coach to strike fear in someone, you should have hired one who has actually won a ballgame. Now Daniel Hood, we do fear him, especially if he's around our minor children!

It ain't often you have convicted sex offenders playing on your football team.

Fear the Hood!

They don't really give us much of a chance to miss them cause they are always there. Like the sting we feel when we think back to last seasons debacle wrapped in a disaster inside of a Jonathan Crompton turnover. They constantly remind us of our team's failure. And who can argue with their logic. Well, we all CAN, but really, THEIR stupid team just won the National Flippin' Championship and our team didn't even have a shot at the Gaylord Hotel Music City Bowl in Nashville! They have the better team on their side, for right now, at least. And they are charming in the way they never let us forget, even on our own turf.


The above comments were on the sixth page of an article about a recruit for the 2011 season. As the resident joker Florrible (Florida + Horrible = Florrible) points out, this could only be the work of the trolls gone totally mad. This article ended up having 387 (!!!) comments about a recruit in the class of 2011. An article a few days later about a kid from a local school that will be walking on to the basketball team next fall only had 91. By the way, there's even a basketball troll IN MAY. Yes, that's right; every single article about Tennessee basketball in May will be graced with his baby blue-tinted coloring of that day's events! What?

TarHeelsRule writes:

Unlike you I do not have to worship our coach to be a fan. I am not a fan of mempiss my man. Like I said I deal with facts. Dean Smith did less with more than anybody. Does not mean I did not root for the team.
I am sorry that you have to worship mediocrity. That is to bad.

I said they were good at getting under our skin. I never said they were very good at grammar. But do you see what happens. When the enemy invades your turf, you reach for your weapons and you fight, fight, fight to defend what you know and love. You get together with others like you and all the "yous" become "us". They may come on our boards and post lenghty dissections of the problems and policies of our favorite program. They will call our players names, tell of how Peyton never beat Florida, and twist that knuckle in the middle of the collective chest of the Volunteer Nation. But all the while, as the new regime changes the culture in the program, the trolls are having the unintnded result of turning the fanbase of a program too long marred in "I" and "me" into a a collective group of "WE". We are down for now, but.....


I said it's great to be a Tennessee Vol!

I said it's great to be a Tennessee Vol!


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