(Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)
The title of the article may sound like that of an amorous novel if not an erotic magazine or an excerpt from a porno weekly. Just to dispel all fears, this one requires no parental guidance or discretion on the part of the readers, far from it.
The only ball that will be discussed below will be Football.
The Climax in question is the 'squeaky bum time' that just went by, the Men in this context will be our beloved footballers, the ones using their legs, heads and sometime heads to control the ball, the football that is, and the only arse discussed being that of the gunners and Champagne being the only oozing fluid of concern to us.
The Foreplay... Or you could call it the prelude instead...
It has been a long and gruelling season, full of highs and lows if not 'Ohhhhs' and 'Aaaahhhhs' and other sounds and emotions not even remotely related to Football.
The fans have stood by their teams during this long time, going through the joy and pain themselves, staying up morn and night, giving up on stuff that they would have otherwise done.
As a Manchester United fan, the season has been brilliant so far, and it was a medley of sorts to watch Arsenal being held by ManUtd to clinch the title, yes,the same Man who's on top as the title says.
The Climax
"Thank God!!! We made it" - that was the first thought that came to my mind. I'm not one in the bandwagon of optimists, and can be their staunchest critic at times. I was at the edge of my seat through out the game though my team never were really threatened, albeit they didn't do too much themselves at the other end either.
Nerve wrenching? Well, not this one. The United fans might be the ones biting their nails, but for a neutral, this was one to forget. Neither team can take credit for having dominated the game.
Well the arsenal fans would like to point out that they enjoyed the lion's share of possession and made Old Trafford seem like the Emirates. But the fact of the matter is that both teams rarely looked liked they would score.
Van Der Sar can take pride in saying that his were the warmer pair of gloves where as Fabianski was a spectator all noon. I wish I could brand this game as a game of two halves, because it was not.
Both halves were bland and dour like a documentary on Global warming. And yes, talking of the weather, the weather Gods did try to play their part to spice up the script, it rained and it shined, but nothing could deter our resilient warriors. They were bent upon keeping the fans waiting and nail-biting, till they had no more to chew on.
Talking of rain, it was a torrential downpour of yellow cards as well, for rather silly challenges, Patrice Evra being the common factor of them all. But neither could that spur our boys on. It continued as it had been since the start, boring and only boring.
However, the men in Red held on to a scoreless draw, earning the point they needed to seal the deal. United have been on the ascendancy since they regained the title from the clutches of Chelsea back in 2006-07. But there is a sea of difference between the team that was and now is.
We're going to send you the most entertaining Manchester United articles, videos, and podcasts from around the web.
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