The All-Supervillain Football Team

This article is a follow up to "The All Superhero Football Team" (for that article, click here: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/169110-the-all-superhero-football-team).

The same basic rules apply:

Even though all of the participants are Supervillains, we agreed it only fair that there are no two-way players. 

That said, I should explain a little something about the way this team operates.

First off, their defense is a 4-3 scheme (as opposed to the Heroes' 3-4). Secondly, the Villains run a wishbone offense with only one receiver. After we had finished compiling our player roster, we realized our team was built for the run. This is an old fashioned, punch-em-in-the-mouth, downhill running football team.

You could of course disagree but because of the team's the overall lack of speed, I think this one makes sense. I mean shoot, Lex Luthor is coach, you know he has tricks up his sleeve. It also should allow fewer chances for mistakes from our QB.

Head coach: Lex Luthor

While Luthor always seemed to be vanquished by Superman, he never had this type of talent to work with. His extreme intelligence and out-of-the-box ideas should allow him to develop smart, tactical game plans that will not only befuddle opponents, but probably confuse his own team as well. Which is OK, because his QB probably won't listen to him half the time anyway.

DEFENSE

Left Defensive End: Loki

Standing an impressive 6'4" and weighing 524 pounds, Loki is not your typical speed rusher. But, being the step brother of Thor, we felt that their abilities would be similar, and since Thor is a DE, Loki would be pretty good too. His combination of speed, strength, durability, and shape-shifting should make him effective both in getting to the passer and shutting down the run. Not to mention the energy beams he can emit, which should come in handy if he gets pulled to far downfield on a reverse.

Left Defensive Tackle: Kingpin

Think Ted Washington. Kingpin comes in at 450 lbs, and while smaller than Loki, we figure he can take two offensive lineman on any given play. He will bunch up the middle of the field, which should allow the linebackers to make more plays. He can also be the leader of the defensive line. Add in the toughness that was added on while he was in prison, and he could be a handful... Literally.

Right Defensive Tackle: The Blob

If Kingpin is Ted Washington, then the Blob is Keith Traylor or Tony Siragusa. Big, strong, tough, and ... did I mention big? The guy weights 510 lbs., for crying out loud. I mean Kingpin and the Blob could probably occupy the entire offensive line by themselves. And think, there can be no real team that will ever be able to run between the tackles with these two forming a wall there.

I mean it, if the French had this type of wall to keep out the Nazis as opposed to the Maginot Line, we probably wouldn't have had WWII 'cause they would have had no chance.

Right Defensive End: Bane

Bane is crazy. Much like Loki, he is not the stereotypical DE. That said, the man has incredible strength, speed, stamina, durability, and reflexes, which should allow him to cover his area. With Bane at the end of this line, one can only imagine trying to run against this team.

However, there was controversy here because we think Bane will get a four-game suspension at somepoint since most of his powers come from getting pumped with supersteroid venom.  There is no way he can mask that from the commish's office.

(We actually anticipate 'Roids to be a continuous problem for both Bane and the whole Villains team, but to be fair, no one in their right mind would try to suspend these guys)

Strong-Side Linebacker: Sabertooth

The strength of this defense will reside in the linebackers. Sabertooth, coming off the strong side, has both the speed and the tenacity to both cover tight ends and take on lead blockers. His cat-like reflexes and strength make him a nightmere for any fullback trying to blast a hole to run through. Add in his self-healing powers and you realize that you will not be able to wear him down, even in the fourth quarter.

Middle Linebacker: Brainiac

The first of several wildcard selections. Brianiac combines strength with intelligence to create the perfect MLB. He is durable, strong, fast, and very smart. Include his telepathy, and no quarterback will ever be able to fool him with a play action pass, or look him off a receiver. This is Brian Urlacher/Mike Singletary/Dick Butkus. This is your defensive field general.

Weak-Side Linebacker: Venom

I know that most of these villains are nasty, but is anyone even close to Venom? The simple answer is no. Venom is the ideal size for the WLB spot, and his desire for inflicting pain is exactly what this defense needs. He is strong, fast with an incredible leaping ability and has a "Spiderman-like sense," which means he can anticipate plays before they develop.

He will lead the team in penalties, which is saying something when you look at this roster from top to bottom.

Strong Safety: Dr. Doom

Try going over the middle on Dr. Doom. I dare you. Run that crossing patterns and you will be annialated. What Doom lacks in speed (I know he has super speed, but seriously, compared to the other people on this team, it is just average) he makes up with in strength, stamina, energy blasts, and sheer evil.

Just his presence is enough to make even the gutsiest receiver think twice before trying to run an inside slant because, apart from being hit, you know Doom won't blink at being flagged 15 yards for a late hit or helmet-to-helmet contact.

Free Safety: Onslaught

Onslaught had an interesting history, but if I could give a synopsis of how he came about, I would say that he is the bastard child of Xavier and Magneto. Not a bad pair to draw your powers from, huh? This is beneficial to him because his powers include speed, mind control/mind blasts, the ability to change size (makes tackling a big receiver a lot easier) and the ability to create force fields, which means Hail Mary passes will be a pain to try to complete.

Cornerback: Toad

Here is a guy (for lack of a better word) that you do not want to throw a jump ball near. We eventually settled on corner for Toad because we figured he could make up for his lack of speed with his jumping skills, his overall agility, and what has been described as, "his superhuman insanity." We all seemed to like that in a player.

Nothing worries a person more than a guy who is crazy and unpredictable enough to do something totally irrational and probably highly illegal (such as biting players in a pile up or taking his helmet and beating an opposing player with it.)

Cornerback: Vulture

Ballhawk. 

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