"Hard Knocks with the Kansas City Chiefs": Where's All the Crime?

HBO has a series running right now called Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Kansas City Chiefs.

The series offers a behind-the scenes-look at what it takes to prepare for an NFL season. It follows multiple storylines: Coaches struggle to teach players while also evaluating talent; high-profile rookies adjust to life at the next level; players on the bubble for their livelihood.

It's all mildly facinating show. But it's missing one thing:

Crime.

NFL news in the past year has been all about arrests and a new dictator, I mean commissioner, Roger Goodell is cracking heads and taking names.

So where is it?

I want HBO to follow the story of a third-string cornerback who spends all day at practice only to go out at night, drink $10,000 worth of liquor at a strip club, fight three people, then on his way home stop at a bank and rob it.

Isn't that what NFL players do? It's HBO. They can show all that. Do they edit all this stuff out?

Why couldn't HBO get the Cincinnati Bengals to agree to this? That would be a show. Imagine, the cameras could follow Chris Henry as he gives them a Cribs style tour of his house, where he'd show off his illegal gun collection, his stash of weed, and his 16-year-old girlfriend. Seriously, Henry could be a star. His Wikipedia information page has a "criminal history" section—and, no joke, it's much longer than any other section.

Maybe it's just that the Chiefs are a diciplined, well-behaved team. Maybe the NFL isn't really so full of criminals as ESPN would want you to believe

Or, then again, maybe HBO is just saving a gruesome murder mystery for the cliffhanger season finale, in which a body shows up on the eve of the season opener and coach Herm Edwards and his pack of detectives/coaches must solve the crime, find the culprit, and suspend him for two games.

With pay of course.