The world needs barbers—just not ones like Darnell Dockett.
With the regular season less than a month away, NFL teams across the nation are training hard and working out the kinks. The ultimate goal is to jell as a team, and part of that process is rookie hazing—a practice Dockett has grabbed with two hands and an electric shear.
The Arizona Cardinals defensive end recently took the lead on freshman initiation, treating former LSU Tiger Tyrann Mathieu and other first-year Cardinals to $7.99 haircuts, courtesy of Dockett himself.
Dockett posted pictures of the ensuing carnage to Instagram and Twitter, which were spotted by Mike Foss of USA Today. I warn you, the following images feature graphic barbering, terrible edge work and soul-piercing stares.
As if his hair could get any weirder, Mathieu received a haircut I have dubbed the “Lefty,” due to the fact his left eyebrow is now gone.
Mathieu after the cut:
Kenny Demens looks like “George Jefferson” now:
(Warning: Video contains NSFW language.)
Padric Scott received a unique eyebrow job:
Alex Okafor was the only rookie to escape the carnage relatively unscathed, emerging from the barber's chair with an awesome Mr. T haircut:
Butchery doesn’t even begin to encapsulate the awfulness of these hairdos. Dockett is the NFL’s Sweeney Todd—but in this case, he only dispatches normal haircuts.
Notice his signature style, however. No. 90 always makes sure to leave his calling card on each of his clients:
You’re a cruel man, Darnell Dockett, but someone has to bust these broncs. Lets just hope the next phase of initiation doesn’t include a cinder block and a length of rope.
Join me on Twitter, where we can marvel at the sadistic styling of Darnell Dockett.