Fictional Questions and Answers for Matt Stafford

Aedrien MacayleContributor IMay 10, 2009

NEW YORK - APRIL 25:  NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell stands with Detroit Lions #1 draft pick Matthew Stafford at  Radio City Music Hall for the 2009 NFL Draft on April 25, 2009 in New York City  (Photo by Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)

Me: First of all, Matt, I'd like to thank you for joining me.

Stafford: I didn't.

Me: Quite right, this interview is entirely fictional. Anyway, how do you like Detroit so far?

Stafford: I'm still getting settled in.

Me: Of course. How bout them Red Wings, huh?

Stafford: Umm, yeah...they're pretty good, right?

Me: Well yes, but this is a football interview.  Let's keep a little focus, kid.

Stafford: ...

Me: So, now that you have the hopes and dreams of hundreds of thousands of unemployed or soon to be unemployed metro Detroiters riding on your shoulders, what do you think of Aaron Curry?

Stafford: Aaron had a solid career at Wake Forest, and I think he'll make a good pro linebacker. Also, he seems like a decent guy.

Me: Do you think we should have drafted him instead of you?

Stafford: Do you think you should say "we" in this interview?

Me: Oooh, very clever, TV's Matthew Stafford.

Stafford: Thank you.  Is that about it, or did you have anything else to ask me?

Me: Hey, who's running this interview anyway? No, that was it, I guess. Good luck this year putting one more guy out of work in Detroit; and once again, I'd like to thank you for joining me today.

Stafford: I didn't.

Me: Dang it. Yes. Right. Good night, folks.