How to Solve The Manny Problem . . . Let Fans Throw Eggs

Mark E. SmithCorrespondent IMay 9, 2009

LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 30:  Portrait of Manny Ramirez #99 of the Los Angeles Dodgers during batting practice before the game between the San Francisco Giants at Dodger Stadium on April 30, 2009 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

As a loyal Dodger fan for years, I have been very dismayed about Thursday morning's news.  It's just hard to believe that the man who only needs one name, who conquered L.A. in no time, could let us down so badly.  It was as if I learned that Gandhi . . . No, no, I'm not going to go there.

Needless to say, I'm disappointed.  I mean where do Dodger fans go from here?  Manny Ramirez has been suspended for 50 games.  And then what?  He's back on the team like nothing ever happened?  It can't be that easy, It won't be that easy. 

What we're going to need is something from Manny.  I'm sure he'll give a press conference eventually in front of the national media.  He will look into the camera and deeply apologize.  But for most Dodger fans, that simply won't be enough.  We've seen too many players now get in front of cameras and say things that we know they don't mean.

Fortunately, I have the solution.  The plan to get past this sad episode will involve fan participation.  And in the end it will provide a resolution, and give us closure.

The last day of his suspension the Dodgers will have a promotion.  All fans in attendance will have the chance to throw an egg at Manny.  Prior to the start of the game, Manny will be seated on the pitcher's mound as the sellout crowd will take our turn tossing eggs at him.  Imagine 50,000 eggs flying at the man who is sitting out 50 games, right after holding the Dodgers and their fans hostage all winter.

If you're upset at Manny and have thrown away your dreadlocks, here is your chance to vent your frustration.  If you are a purist who believes baseball has no place for PEDs, here is your chance to say so.  If you want some kind of justice for a crime that seems unjustifiable, here will be your moment. 

Then with Manny covered with broken eggs, in front of a national TV audience, we can accept his apology.  Being humbled like that, I'm sure we could get an honest and sincere plea for forgiveness.  And if he were to be willing to go through it, we would have to give him that.  We would have to fully respect him again, and we could accept him back into the Dodger family.

This plan is needed if the Dodgers want to feel right about winning the World Series this year.  So that we don't feel like we swept something extremely dirty under the rug.  Instead we will feel good that we addressed our issues and moved on, together as championship family.

There are still things to be worked out with this plan.  Such as what to do with the mess caused by the eggs, but the field can be covered with tarp.  Also, is there any way that we can tie this is with the all-star game.  You know right before the home run derby we have the Great Egg Toss, or something like that.  And of course we can make this for a good cause.  Either charge people a couple dollars for the eggs, or donate ticket revenue on that day to charity.  Make it an everybody wins kind of situation. 

So what do you say?  Are you ready to get this behind us?  I'm getting my arm loose.