If you are lactose intolerant, don't press play on the video above.
Because there was really no other way to tout its storage ability, Uncle Bob's Self Storage decided to have renowned professional eater Takeru Kobayashi come by and entertain fans with his ability to cram random foodstuffs into his stomach.
We take you to the milk portion of the proceedings spotted over at Deadspin by Tom Ley. Kobayashi tells the host that he wants to show him something else.
Let's pause for just a moment. If he is saying that he is about to show them "one more thing," that means he has already been chowing down in the only way a man like Kobayashi can. Simply put, he has already had the equivalent of what you eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
At least, that is what I am going to assume, even though he seems to have no issue with gulping down a gallon of milk in 20 seconds.
I would also like to point out that the host of the event initially asks Kobayashi how long he plans to take chugging the milk: "One minute?"
Um, I would have been impressed with him doing that in an hour without losing it all over the floor, as we have seen in video after video on the Internet. I will go ahead and let you search the insanity on your own.
Some of you might be wondering what Kobayashi has been up to since his last appearance at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest in 2009. For more on that, Luke O'Brien of Deadspin wrote a great article on Kobayashi and his contractual disputes with Nathan's.
Despite missing out on recent installments of the July 4 event, the star eater continues to find new ways to amaze us mortals who take about a week or two to finish our own respective gallons of milk.
And really, you have to love how he throws the empty gallon of milk at the end. It reminded me of Yoenis Cespedes' epic bat flip after conquering the field at the 2013 MLB Home Run Derby.
It never stood a chance.
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