Reggie, J-Marc, Canseco, Becks, and Ankiel: The Week That Was

With the week drawing to a close, here's a look at who's making headlines...

The NBA Senior Tour Begins

Pacer legend Reggie Miller is mulling a comeback, and several other former stars may follow suit.

 

Penny Hardaway has signed a deal to rejoin Shaquille O'Neal in Miami. Charles Oakley, Scottie Pippen, Allan Houston, and Dennis Rodman (yes, Dennis Rodman) are all rumored to be dusting off their sneakers.

 

The question isn't, "Should they?" it's, "Why would they?"

 

No disrespect, but are you guys doing this for the love or the money? My only advice: Don't leave your walkers and Ben Gay at home.

 

 

The Oakland Traitors

 

Q: What do Jose Canseco and JaMarcus Russell have in common?

 

A: They both ought to be tarred, feathered, and sent to Alcatraz.

 

As of this release, the only contract Russell has signed is for his new house in Oakland.

 

Sorry Raider fans.

 

Who has more to lose in this situation? Russell does, because with the addition of Daunte Culpepper, the Raiders aren't sweating bullets yet. If Russell wants to prove himself, he needs to shut up and get his egotistical ass on the field.

 

As for Canseco, how dare you try to sell your crappy books at someone else's expense? Let's clear the air, here and now. It's funny how you badmouth Big Mac, Sammy Sosa, A-Rod, and Rafael Palmeiro...but you don't have one harsh word for Barry Bonds.

 

Maybe you and Barry ought to get together to spit on Girl Scouts and kick some dogs. It's not like either of you care about anyone but yourselves.

 

 

Beckham Bends Back

 

Thursday night, soccer took center stage as 40,000 fanatics invaded FedEx Field to watch the long-awaited MLS debut of David Beckham.

 

Beckham played 20 minutes and looked pretty good for a guy with a bad leg. Though the Galaxy lost 1-0 to D.C. United, everyone, even the skeptical, enjoyed Beckham's arrival.

 

As Becks saluted the fans who came out to watch him, I could see him asking me my own question: "Hey Ron, how do you like 'dem apples?"

 

Well Davey Boy, you finally played. For stepping up, I applaud you. Now prove you're better than Pele so Jay Mariotti can quit flapping his gums about it, would you?

 

 

Hero of the Day

 

Everyone remembers Rick Ankiel as the "Wild Thing."

 

Now he's back in the big leagues, and then some.

 

His three-run shot in St. Louis this week was so huge that even the guys in the other dugout had to applaud, the ultimate salute to a man who earned his way back to respectability.

 

Rick, as a Cardinals fan, I congratulate you on your slammin' return to Major League Baseball. Keep up the good work. God knows the Cardinals need something to cheer about.