Chelsea's gravitationally challenged striker Didier Drogba is renowned for his comical over-selling of the slightest physical contact, which could explain recent rumours reaching Hawksport that the Ivorian has been plotting an escape to World Wrestling Entertainment.
Drogba has spent much of the last two years pining for a new career venture. His apathy toward life in England first surfaced in the wake of Jose Mourinho's ignominious dismissal by the London superclub following a dismal 1-1 draw with Rosenborg in 2007. Not even the 500 fans in attendance that night could save The Special One from The Oligarch.
Now it appears that the 31-year-old's latest attempt to impress WWE chairman Vince McMahon came during this week's Champions League semifinal tie with Barcelona.
After yet another Swan Lake-inspired tumble failed to con Norwegian referee Tom Henning Ovrebo, Drogba opted to channel his rage by perfecting his Spinaroonie—a move made famous by five time, five time, five time, five time, five time WCW Champion Booker T.
When asked his thoughts about being snubbed from the card at last month's Wrestlemania XXV, Drogba told Sky Sports reporters: "It's a disgrace. It's a disgrace. It's a f*ck*ng disgrace."
Eager to prove his worth, the Ivorian performed another Spinaroonie for the assembled press corps in his post-match interview before aiming a steely message at the megalomaniacal wrestling chairman.
An animated Drogba bellowed: "Can you dig it...SUCKAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?"