Any football fan with a bit of sense can tell you that the idea of Arsenal signing either Wayne Rooney from Manchester United or Luis Suarez from Liverpool is far-fetched at best and pure lunacy at the worst. Some might even laugh at the prospect.
And yet on and on go the rumours attaching the club to Rooney, while a popular rumour in the past few days has seen the club linked to Suarez.
Neither will happen, but as Matt Law of the Mirror points out, the rumours nonetheless exist:
Chelsea and Arsenal remain convinced Rooney can be prised out of Old Trafford this summer, despite new manager David Moyes insisting the striker will not be sold. Moyes has met with Rooney, but would not reveal whether the 27-year-old striker had told him he wants to stay at United.
With only two years left on Rooney’s United contract, Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho and Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger are refusing to give up the chase.
Sunday Mirror Sport can also reveal Arsenal and Chelsea have made enquiries to find out whether Liverpool’s wantaway star Luis Suarez would consider moving within the Premier League.
But Real Madrid remain hot favourites to sign Suarez after he insisted he wants to leave England.
Let's break down each player—and why it's unlikely they'll be heading to the Emirates—individually.
We start with Rooney. Beyond the fact that Moyes has said Rooney is sticking around, it's hard to imagine Wenger ever paying his astronomical wages.
If he shells out £250,000 a week for Rooney, what precedent would it set? What would players like Theo Walcott or Jack Wilshere be looking for in wages the next time they negotiated a contract (if they were with the club through the end of their current deals)?
Besides, if United does end up selling Rooney, you have to think it'll do anything in its power to sell him outside of the Premier League.
Sure, dropping Rooney behind Gonzalo Higuain (if he ever actually signs with Arsenal, per Sid Lowe of The Guardian) would make the Gunners a true contender for an EPL title. It would signal to Arsenal fans that the Gunners were once again poised to be a top side in Europe.
But it's not going to happen.
As per Suarez, well, that would be even more shocking than a Rooney signing. For one, he's already said he wants to leave England and that his issues are more with the English press than they are with Liverpool.
So there's that.
And like Rooney, Suarez would garner large wages. Plus, Liverpool will try everything in its power to sell him outside of the Premier League.
But ask yourselves this: Would Wenger want a guy like Suarez on his team? Would he want a player with a history of disciplinary concerns, that will score goals, yes, but who has also been suspended in each of the past two seasons?
I don't think so. Besides, with Higuain arriving any day now, Wenger would either have to switch to a two-striker formation or rotate Higuain and Suarez in the lineup. And isn't Higuain leaving Real Madrid in part precisely to get away from that type of situation, after splitting time with Karim Benzema?
Arsenal has other fish to fry and other needs to fill on the transfer market—Suarez isn't needed.
Sorry folks, but Rooney and Suarez aren't coming to the Emirates. The Suarez rumours make absolutely no sense whatsoever, while the addition of Rooney is little more than a pipe dream.