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Dear B/R: I'm 13, Love Basketball, And Heading To Europe

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Dear B/R: I'm 13, Love Basketball, And Heading To Europe
(Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

TOTAL FAKE STORY

As a 13 year old this week, my middle school team for a private school has been recently scouted by the European league.

Though we are in Division 2 for our state and ended the season 2-6, a scout addressed me in our last game, impressed by my bench performance.

"Kid, ya got talent, ya gotta-whatta-we call success. Your gonna be huge!" He was from Greece, a GM of a major team out there. He was interested in signing me at age 13 so that I could be the youngest (and biggest) star in Euro basketball. Sure, I always knew I was pretty much amazing and awesome. Plus, think about the catch flow!

He said I was going to be a scoring machine, my 1.8 points per game for my team had astounded him and knew that range could help.

He said that my height would not matter, and that though other players would be almost 7 feet tall my rebounds would escalate from their current .4 per game count. He figured I could get up there easily.

It sounded good to me.

The next day my agent, Dad, came with me to school to meet up with my greek associate. I wore my suit with a Bugs Bunny tie, and my father told Ramano right away that he had to be at work by 10:00. The slick man negotiated with my father very sternly, but after about three minutes my father announced to me:

"Heres the deal. We got a 6 year, 121 million dollar contract with a free mansion on a Greek island included. What do you think?" My father seemed to find the idea totally normal, as he handed over a pen.

With an open mouth, I signed the contract.

So guys, I am off. It looks like my destiny, though I have no high school or college athletic education, is to be a Euro Star. It was never so obvious to me.

I figure once I'm old enough I'll go for the draft, and then become huge in the NBA. Besides, in Europe my doctor says I might grow as tall as 5'11'' by the time my contracts up.

Looks like I went from bad basketball player with little skill, to a star of the world.

P.S Brandon Jennings says Hi.

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