Two words in and I can already see your knowing sneer.
Who wears a mullet these days? Relegated to the people of Walmart, Canadians and Dog the Bounty Hunter, it's an anachronism. A joke, one surely accompanied by a denim jacket and the music of Motley Crue.
The mullet, they say, is all business in the front, yet a raging party in the back. But it's more than that. It's also an exploration of the feminine in a tough guy's business, a venture into high fashion conceivably even less masculine than rolling around with another fellow, both half naked and both fully oiled up.
It was wrestlers, along with hockey players, who took a haircut made famous by David Bowie and made it butch again. They led the way for the mainstream acceptance.
Could Mel Gibson have worn a mullet in Lethal Weapon if Ricky Morton hadn't already been there first, making it okay for tough guys to go long in back?
I think not.
Wrestlers, unfortunately, didn't know when enough was enough. Like Tab and the music of El DeBarge, there was something particularly and peculiarly 1980s about the mullet. It was the product of its time—but apparently the wrestling industry didn't get the memo.
I've assembled here, a tribute to the mullet in wrestling. It would be impossible to include them all. It pains my heart to leave out amazing specimens like Brutus Beefcake, Crush and Dr. Tom Prichard. But the 20 who made the cut provide a cross section of all the mullet was capable of, both in glory, size and variety.
And it's a list that will continue to grow with the years.
To this day, in high school gyms and National Guard Armories around the country, wrestlers will enter the squared circle with their best Tatanka haircut. And, in the moment before the sneer forms, we will first smile. How can you not? The mullet is more than a haircut. It's 140,000 strands of keratin-based nostalgia.