Coaches Who Were Just Told to Go to Their Room
No dessert! No TV! No Game Boy!
You get to your room, coach, before I tell the athletic director on you!
Getting ejected from games is an art form for coaches. Some paint beautiful masterpieces in oil and acrylics, leaving the field after an intense and detailed argument with the officials. On the other hand, some coaches just plunge their hands into the fingerpaint and start flinging stuff everywhere.
The following are the childish maneuvers some catches pull when facing discipline or disappointment. They’re not the most elegant renderings of a tantrum, but we’ll put them on the fridge if it makes them feel better.
The Sit-in Solution
The sit-in solution isn’t so much as a solution as it is an intrinsic reaction we learn to use as children when all other physical forms of protest have been exacerbated.
While most of us grow out of this childhood habit and go on to live happy lives involving coed softball leagues and crippling college debt, minor league manager Marty Brown never lost his inner child.
After an opponent's baserunner cut off second baseman from making a play on the ball, the Buffalo Bisons manager argued with the umpire and was tossed from game. It was then that some tender little something snapped inside Brown, and he reverted to the most basic of tantrums—the limp noodle.
Brown eventually left the field, but it would’ve happened sooner had the umpires brought a leash to the game.
Throwing Their Food
It’s technically not food-food in this case, but this coach still managed to go full infantile drink splattering after being ejected from a peewee football game.
The kids are reserved and calm, but this guy reacts to the situation like he was just served a subpoena via Gatorade bottle.
Takes Toys, Goes Home
Ah, another delicious treat from minor league baseball, where the ejections flow like wine and the insanity is thick enough to spread over strudels.
This particular childish endeavor involves State College Spikes manager Gary Robinson, who decided to take his toys and go home after arguing a call at the plate and getting ejected.
In this case, the toy is first base—which he signs with a Sharpie and hands to a young fan.
Making a Mess and Not Cleaning It Up
Warning: Video contains language that is NSFW
Overreacting is in a child’s nature, and it also happens to be a well-worn tactic in Wally Backman’s bag of tricks, it would appear.
With the intention of defusing an argument between one of his players and the home plate umpire, the South Georgia Peanuts manager ran and interposed himself between the two quarreling men.
Instead of easing the situation, however, Backman exhaled a steady stream of expletives at the official—essentially breathing natural gas on the angry brush fire. The ensuing ejection he received provoked the manager into throwing almost the entire contents of his bullpen and storming off.
Kicking Their Toys
You're too old to be kicking basketballs, Rick Carlisle.
Carlisle might've meant no harm, but a moment of frustration and smidgeon of poor judgement led the Dallas Mavericks head coach to kick a basketball into the stands in early 2012.
The ball smoked one dude in the head and ricocheted into a woman. Carlisle was ejected from the game and presumably not allowed any applesauce for a week.
Coach Punches Ref, Gets Sent to Room
Brazilian soccer coach Pedro Santili punched a ref, and he was quickly sent to his room—the one with bars they probably keep on empty standby for this maniac.
Somebody needed to put him in the corner, and he needs to stay there until he learns to keep his ratty washed-out jean-wearing, Hector Salamanca-looking tookus off the pitch.
Stupid questions are like drippy snow cones to Bob Knight—annoying as hell, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t savor ever single one he gets.
So when one reporter asked the former IU basketball coach a question about “game faces,” the General responded with a series of facial expressions that looked like a child sucking down a bag of lemons.
Martin Tremblay is a 48-year-old man who coaches peewee hockey, and he will sweep the leg of anybody he so chooses to—even a 10-year-old boy.
Tremblay was sentenced to 15 days in prison after losing his temper in a postgame handshake line and tripping two members of the opposing team. The kids he went after were 13 and 10, and as you can hear from the reactions, no one could believed anyone would ever do such a thing.
It was like this, but the guy had no problem doing it.
Kicking and Screaming
Lou Piniella is one man who hasn’t forgotten the finer points of tantrum-throwing.
He understands the value of body language and how actions speak louder than words. Arm flails and kicks are more embarrassing to a parent than screaming. Words are wind, Jon Snow—but struggling calls for a physical response from the child’s guardian, which can only land them in hot water.
'Mikey Doesn’t Like It'
I apologize for that pun, but this is Mike Mularkey, and he is losing his Doritos Locos tacos.
The tantrum occurred at a 2012 game against the Indianapolis Colts, after Andrew Luck had just been credited for a questionable rushing touchdown.
It was bad enough that the Jags were in the middle of what would become a dismal 2-14 season, but Andrew Luck scoring a rushing touchdown against your team is the kind of experience that makes a man want to curl up in a shower stall while “Jumper” plays on repeat.
Or throw your clipboard on the field like a child.
Express Themselves in Ways They Only Understand
Former Mississippi Braves manager Phil Wellman is a YouTube legend, and his magnum opus meltdown still stands tall today as the Mona Lisa of ejection reactions in minor league baseball.
Wellman’s tirade included nearly the entire spectrum of infantile outbursts, from the making of messes to the squealing and kicking, but add in the grenade/rosin bag and the sequence as a whole leaves you with the impression you have no idea what’s going on in this person’s head.
The Push and Cry
Morehead State head coach Sean Woods pulled a play from the bully handbook when he shoved a player in the back during a 2012 game against UK.
Granted, he wasn’t kicked out of the ballgame, but what made this occasion truly reminiscent of a childhood moment was the fact that the pushing and berating led to his player sitting on the bench with tears welling in his eyes.
If you grew up with siblings, you've probably done something like this before, and you always immediately felt like a jerk.
Literally Being Sent Home
Based on the footage the nation saw from his practices at Rutgers, former Mike Rice is "Greatest Freak Out Ever" kid, all grown up.
And by "all grown up," I mean older in years, but not a nanosecond more psychologically developed than a 14-year-old kid force-feeding a remote control into his rectum.
He was literally sent home to his room when the university canned him, and thank God they did.
The 2013 NFC Championship Game took a toddler-esque turn when the referees blew a call and allowed a dubious reception by Falcons wide receiver Harry Douglas to count.
The ruling had been challenged by Jim Harbaugh, and after hearing the ruling on the field would stand, the 49ers head coach went into a Stitch-like ground-smacking fit.
When you're on the failing end of a venture, what's a kid left to do besides go out with a little style?
Chris Clark knows what I'm talking about. Instead of arguing with officials like most coaches, the junior hockey league coach decided to get ejected for doing something vastly more entertaining and juvenile—pranking the umpires with a snazzily dressed blind man routine on the open ice.
That's how you get sent to your room in style.