The Chicago Bulls-Boston Celtics Series Was Historically Terrible

Binary BasketballContributor IMay 3, 2009

BOSTON - APRIL 28:  Derrick Rose #1 of the Chicago Bulls takes a shot in the second half against the Boston Celtics in Game Five of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals during the 2009 NBA Playoffs at TD Banknorth Garden on April 28, 2009 in Boston, Massachusetts. The Celtics defeated the Bulls 106-104 in overtime. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Boston Celtics vs. Chicago Bulls - Analysis

From game one, we have Derrick Rose, one of the most impressive rookies we have seen since, well, I'm not even going to go there. It's a domain I do not wish to enter. The talent, skill, and IQ of Derrick Rose is absolutely amazing. I'm not going to go into comparisons because they could be construed as borderline homosexual.

But we are talking about NBA basketball here. If there is any true fan that has never claimed how much they they love a player then my friends, we have identified an individual that isn't a true fan. One of the greatest stories of the NBA has just become non-existent. It is now no longer a story. We can all thank the Boston Celtics.

This is how we go about it.

Since there are two types of people that are invariably going to end up judging this series, we can easily classify them. Then, as a privilege to everybody else that reads this article, they can witness me analyze them while attempting to polish off a bottle of vodka (not the small size).


Judging Derrick Rose By This Series Loss

First off, at this point in time, very few people care about Derrick Rose. And by that, I mean that very few people actually legitimize the legacy he will inevitably create in the future. For those of you that are confused, just accept that I'm a drunken man from the future that will be providing them the future picks and winners. Until they stop being idiots and realize I'm a drunk from the past.

I've got my DeLorean.

By now, I'm hoping to have only caught the attention of the most dedicated reader. The most interesting of people are only worthy enough of knowing that the future of this series means nothing. 

Yeah, I agree with most people and was one of the proponents of watching this series. In fact one of my members wrote an article called Rajon Rondo - Who is this Guy?. I've gotta agree.


Who does Rondo think he is?

Rondo has proven to be one of the most talented players in the NBA. I'm not bringing all star in this. I'm not bringing veteran status in this.

But, Derrick Rose also rocked his image and did it very well. He proved that everybody that didn't think he was the absolute unanimous rookie of the yeah winner, is pretty much in idiot that should likely be shot, hogtied, and pulled behind the back of a 1983 Ford pickup.

I'm not saying this because because I dislike Ford. Not at all—but do you have any idea how terrible it smells rolling behind one of those things?

The fact of the matter is that he didn't get the job done. Had Derrick Rose beat the Boston Celtics, despite Kevin Garnett being out of the playoffs, Rose would have been single handedly responsible for the next media attention to debate the * vs. Jordan debate.

I was going for the Bulls this series but now that I think of it, maybe it's for the best....

Your Resident Drunk,

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