"I call this pose 'Discus Thrower.'"
The summer transfer period is no time for anyone who values the either the truth or a tidy conclusion. Manchester City Football Club has been very active in the transfer market if you believe the British tabloids. A run at Edinson Cavani here, a new manager there, the potential to splash £100 million on new talent...it is all in play.
As Tracy Chapman so eloquently put it: "There is fiction in the space between/you and everybody/give us all what we need/give us one more sad sordid story."
Another week, more sad and sordid stories and seemingly no clean result in sight.
"I was fouled. Surely you saw it."
Not so fast, says Chelsea. The same report has manager-in-waiting Jose Mourinho making the same offer with Fernando Torres in the place of Dzeko.
Imagine Napoli's response. "You want us to take Torres as part of this deal? Make it £108 million."
Manchester City's pursuit of Isco appears to be waning.
Less than a week ago, the prevailing narrative was that Manuel Pellegrini was coming to Manchester City and bringing his willing protege Isco with him.
The momentum behind that package deal has all but died, according to Caught Offside.
"Isco is thought to be on new manager Manuel Pellegrini’s transfer wish list but City officials have declined to bid for the 21 year old," writes Rob Kearsey.
This news is so disappointing that it seems inappropriate to toss out another Isco/disco pun, so let's just press on.
As always, though, when one door closes another seems to open. Isco may not be coming to the Etihad, but Jesus Navas is the new hot topic for the Citizens.
John Edwards of the Daily Mail was on this story last week: "Manuel Pellegrini has begun formulating a title-winning plan for Manchester City by ordering a big-money bid for flying Sevilla winger Jesus Navas as well as Malaga playmaker Isco."
So, you know, other than that Isco thing, the Mail was right on it.
Fabregas is used to being chased.
Cesc Fabregas could be returning to the Premier League, though candidly, Manchester City's chances of landing him are only middling.
This likely would not be a story but for the player's concerns about how he is being deployed by his present employer, Barcelona: "Fabregas would prefer to stay at the Nou Camp but he will seek reassurances about his role," wrote Rob Draper.
Could City use Fabregas? Perhaps. For £25 million, though, City could probably address more pressing needs than this.
Bale in sky blue is still a wish worth holding onto until it definitely cannot be.
Never any harm in asking, right?
That deal is looking less likely by the minute.
Predictably, Spurs have no intention of letting Bale torture them in the newspapers and on the pitch the way Robin van Persie made Arsenal squirm this past year.
The Express quotes an unnamed source's sense of Spurs chairman Daniel Levy's take on selling Bale: “Daniel has made it clear ever since the (Dimitar) Berbatov deal that he will never again sell a major asset to another English club."
What was that thing Taylor Swift sang? "Never say never."