A Song for Every English Premier League Club Based on Their Season

Willie Gannon@https://twitter.com/WillieGannonSenior Writer IMay 17, 2013

A Song for Every English Premier League Club Based on Their Season

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    The 2012-13 English Premier League season is all but over bar the shouting to come on the final day.

    For some clubs it has been a more than memorable season. Manchester United won the EPL title for a 13th time. Swansea City and relegated Wigan Athletic will participate in Europe next year in the Europa Cup after winning the Capital One Cup and FA Cup, respectively.

    Gareth Bale outshone every single player the league has to offer and won an unprecedented trio of player awards.

    And now, because we like doing this sort of thing for our readers on Bleacher Report, we'll step back and have a little bit of fun.

    Some songs you will have heard of and others will be new. We've also tried to stay away from the obvious choices. But rest assured, you will find a couple of classics in there.

    Read on, have a laugh and don't forget to listen, as I come up with a song for every English Premier League team based upon their season.

20. Queens Park Rangers: November Rain (Guns N' Roses)

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    Everyone likes a bit of Guns N' Roses.

    And there is no better song to start with than the epic that is November Rain.

    Unfortunately, QPR's season was epic for all the wrong reasons. 

    November was the most important month of the season for poor ol' Rangers. Mark Hughes was sacked and replaced by Harry Redknapp. Let's be honest: they were all but relegated by November after losing nine and drawing five from their opening 14 matches.

    Key Lyrics:

    'Cause nothin' lasts forever
    And we both know hearts can change
    And it's hard to hold a candle
    In the cold November rain

19. Reading: Don't Fear the Reaper (Blue Oyster Cult)

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    Reading FC is a pretty well-run club.

    Why they sacked Brian McDermott in March is beyond me. The Royals had always been favorites to be relegated and could have used the stability and EPL parachute payment to come straight back up.

    Anyways, Nigel Adkins is pretty much on a par with McDermott, so Reading look well set to mount a concerted push for promotion in 2014.

    Don't Fear the Reaper by the Blue Oyster Cult is an easy sell because it's a great song and symbolizes the Royals future without the cash of the EPL.

    Key Lyric:

    Come on baby, don't fear the reaper
    Baby take my hand, don't fear the reaper
    We'll be able to fly, don't fear the reaper

18. Wigan Athletic: Hallelujah (Jeff Buckley)

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    Is there a more bittersweet song than Hallelujah?

    Jeff Buckley's rendition of the Leonard Cohen classic is now recognized as the definitive version of the song.

    And after this season, Wigan will become the team we think of when bittersweet is described in football. The Latics got to the FA Cup final for the first time in their 81-year history and beat heavy favorites Manchester City to lift the famous trophy.

    Roberto Martinez's team were then relegated to the Championship just three days later.

    Key Lyrics:

    Well baby I've been here before
    I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
    I used to live alone before I knew ya 
    I've seen your flag on the marble arch
    Love is not a victory march 
    It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah 

17. Sunderland: Superstition (Stevie Wonder)

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    Sunderland lurched from one playing disaster to another this season.

    The Black Cats were truly terrible. So when Martin O'Neill was sacked in late March, it came as no surprise to anyone. What did shock was Paulo Di Canio's almost instant succession of the Northern Irishman.

    The controversial Italian has a checkered political background. Sunderland found themselves under a media barrage following his appointment. 

    In the end, he gave a frank denial of his perceived political views. But, he is now under a microscope like no other manager in the top flight.

    Key Lyrics:

    When you believe in things that you don't understand,
    Then you suffer.

16. Aston Villa: Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana)

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    Watching Christian Benteke playing this season was like listening to the iconic guitar riffs of Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana.

    The likable and extremely humble Belgian 22-year-old epitomized all that was good about a very poor Aston Villa side this season.

    Key Lyrics:

    Here we are now, entertain us.
    I feel stupid and contagious. 
    Here we are now, entertain us.

15. Fulham: Bang, Bang My Baby Shot Me Down (Nancy Sinatra)

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    If there is one team in the Premier League who are just there, it is Fulham.

    The Cottagers never seem to move up, and they never seem to drop down. They always hang out amongst the middle. They shine in the odd match against expectations and then get hammered by when least expected.

    In short, they're a bit like a Quentin Tarantino script; you're just not quite sure what will happen next, but you know you'll be entertained.

    In the opening scene of Kill Bill, where we meet Bill and the Bride for the first time, Bang, Bang by Nancy Sinatra begins and you instantly know you're watching a classic.

    Fulham's matches may not always be classics, but they almost always entertaining.

    Key Lyrics:

    Seasons came and changed the time
    When I grew up, I called him mine
    He would always laugh and say
    "Remember when we used to play?"

14. Southampton: The Cave (Mumford & Sons)

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    The Cave by Mumford & Sons is a modern classic.

    The meaning of this song is hard to interpret, but at its heart it is about someone who refuses to give up on a friend. Just like Southampton's fans this season.

    Against all the odds, the Saints entertained everyone this term. With their limited budget, and adventurous style, they pretty much became everyone's favorite second team.

    And no one wanted to see them go down.

    Key Lyrics:

    And I'll find strength in pain
    And I will change my ways
    I'll know my name as it's called again

13. Newcastle United: The Green Fields of France (The Furies & Davy Arthur)

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    Like their North East neighbors, Sunderland, Newcastle were shockingly bad this season.

    Newton's Law states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

    This is true for all sports, as for every good team, there is always a bad team.

    However, it rarely covers the same team. Last year, Newcastle were brilliant and finished a highly credible fifth as Alan Pardew won both Manager of the Year awards.

    This term, his team were simply brutal and he will be lucky if he doesn't walk away with the EPL version of the Razzies.

    The Green Fields of France, by the Furies and Davy Arthur, refers to the amount of French players in the little French embassy of St. James' Park. It's also an amazing song. Listen and learn.

    Key Lyrics:

    Did they beat the drums slowly?
    Did they play the fife lowly?
    Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
    Did the band play the Last Post in chorus?
    Did the pipes play the Flowers of the Forest?

12. Norwich City: Pretty Vacant (Sex Pistols)

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    Norwich City...Where do I begin...All too often this season did I find myself sitting on the couch watching Chris Hughton's team run themselves into the ground. And all too often did I find myself daydreaming during their matches.

    When I looked at the crowd, they seemed to have a vacant stare. Yep, Pretty Vacant.

    The Sex Pistols anthem is one of punk rock's best songs and sums up watching the Canaries perfectly.

    Key Lyrics:

    There's no point in asking you'll get no reply
    Oh just remember a don't decide
    I got no reason it's all too much
    You'll always find me out to lunch

11. Stoke City: Enter Sandman (Metallica)

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    Have you watched Stoke City this season?

    There is no better song title than Metallica's Enter Sandman to sum them up.

    Enough said.

    Key Lyrics:

    Sleep with one eye open. 
    Gripping your pillow tight.

10. West Ham United: Sweet Home Alabama (Lynyrd Skynyrd)

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    The Hammers were one of the revelations of 2012-13, believe it or not. Big Sam, and I begrudgingly say this, did a great job and really got the best from his team when all expected them to struggle.

    Sam even got Andy Carroll firing on so many cylinders that Liverpool might even be tempted to keep him when his loan deal finishes.

    Their good form was built at home in Upton Park where they proved difficult opponents. Apt seen as I've gone for Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd. It was more to do with West Ham moving to a new stadium next season, but it suits all arguments.

    Key Lyrics:

    Big wheels keep on turnin'
    Carryin' me home to see my kin
    Singin' songs about the southland

9. Swansea City: The Great Beyond (R.E.M.)

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    Swansea City won the Capital One Cup this season after mauling poor old Bradford City 5-0 in the final.

    Michael Laudrup's team will now take off on a rather unexpected journey and enter The Great Beyond of European football, as R.E.M. would put it.

    The Swans were one of the most entertaining teams of the season. Much will now be expected of the former Barcelona, Real Madrid and Juventus attacking midfielder as he guides his team through the Europa Cup. 

    Key Lyrics:

    I'm breaking through
    I'm bending spoons
    I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
    I'm looking for answers from the great, answers from the great...

8. West Bromwich Albion: Tricky (RUN-DMC)

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    West Bromwich Albion are in a group of teams that find they are in a Tricky position in the EPL. 

    Do they invest further and try to break into the European places, and run the risk of falling foul of bad deals and bad players? Or do they just stand still and become another Fulham?

    RUN-DMC would have a few things to say about it.

    Key Lyrics:

    It's Tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time
    It's Tricky...(How is it?) Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky)
    It's Tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time
    It's Tricky...Tr-tr-tr-tr-tr-tricky (Tr-Tr-Tr-Tricky) Tr-tr-tr...

7. Liverpool: No Good (The Prodigy)

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    Liverpool's season was, once again, defined by Luis Suarez. The controversial Uruguayan is now a major problem at Anfield.

    He has missed 20 games through suspension since he joined, and has yet to pick up a single red card.

    The relationship between player and club will eventually sour. It all depends upon who pulls the trigger first.

    We don't have any dance songs in the top 20 so far and I can't think of any better than No Good by The Prodigy. Sums Suarez up perfectly for me. Of course, I could have gone for Firestarter or Poison.

    Best Lyric:

    You’re no good for me 
    I don’t need nobody 
    Don’t need no-one 
    That’s no good for me 

6. Everton: Atomic (Blondie)

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    Everton will miss David Moyes, that's a guarantee.

    However, the players that epitomized the Toffees this season were none other than Leighton Baines, who models his look on Paul Weller, and Marouane Felliani, who models his look on a microphone.

    Together they are a formidable pairing and most of Everton's goals came from these two players. Atomic by Blondie suits because of the explosive nature of their footballing relationship. It also suits because of Fellaini's hair.

    Key Lyric:

    Oh, your hair is beautiful.
    Oh, tonight.
    Atomic.

5. Tottenham Hotspur: Flash (Queen)

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    Most people would have reckoned on Queen featuring in the No.1 spot with We Are the Champions. We don't like doing cliches on B/R, unless they're pretty clever!

    So I came up with a way of getting Queen and Freddie Mercury into the list. Flash, taken from the 1980 cheesefest with the magnificent Sam Jones as our hero, is now a classic. In this year's Premier League, the only player who even comes close to being a superhero is Gareth Bale.

    I reckon he could take Flash and Wolverine in one go. On this season's form anyway.

    Key Lyric:

    Flash a-ah
    Savior of the Universe
    Flash a-ah
    He'll save every one of us

    Flash a-ah
    King of the impossible

4. Arsenal: Thrift Shop (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis)

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    In the history of music, there has never been a better song to describe Arsenal under Arsene Wenger than Thrift Shop by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.

    Thrift Shop hits the bullseye on Wenger's transfer policy. It is also the only song that can even come close to describing that coat he has been wearing all season!

    Key Lyrics:

    I hit the party and they stop
    They be like oh! that's goofy that's hella tight. I'm like Yo! that's $50 for a T-shirt limited edition lets do some simple addition $50 for a T-shirt that's just some ignorant ****
    I call that getting swindled and pimped
    I call that getting tricked by a business

    I'll wear your grand dads clothes
    I look incredible
    I’m in this big ass coat from that thrift shop down the road

3. Chelsea: Like a Prayer (Madonna)

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    There are so many songs I could have gone for with all the teams, but especially Chelsea. The one I eventually settled for was Like a Prayer by Madonna.

    I chose it because I reckon the song was about Roman Abramovich and Jose Mourinho! Well, it was when I was listening to it.

    It seemed to me that everything was going wrong for Roman and that he was praying for Jose to come back and make it all better. That remains to be seen.

    Key Lyrics:

    Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone
    I hear you call my name
    And it feels like home

    When you call my name it's like a little prayer
    I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
    In the midnight hour I can feel your power
    Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

2. Manchester City: Fake Plastic Trees (Radiohead)

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    This season has been an unmitigated disaster for Manchester City.

    The Citizens surrendered their title to Manchester United with the limpest of defenses. They were knocked out of the Champions League at the group stage with the worst points total for an English team of all time. And they were thoroughly outplayed and beaten by relegating Wigan in the FA Cup final.

    Their manager, Roberto Mancini, was unsurprisingly sacked.

    Everything about City in 2012-13 was a poor copy of Manchester United. They were a fake, lesser rendition in every way.

    A Fake Plastic Tree if you like, as Radiohead would have put it.

    Key Lyrics:

    Her green plastic watering can 
    For a fake Chinese rubber plant
    In the fake plastic earth
    That she bought from a rubber man
    In a town full of rubber plans

1. Manchester United: Don't You Forget About Me (Simple Minds)

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    The summer before Sir Alex Ferguson joined Manchester United, the big film in the cinemas was The Breakfast Club. The John Hughes teen-angst classic full of Brat Packers Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson and the forever beautiful Molly Ringwald, was a hit. It was helped by the classic Simple Minds hit Don't You (Forget About Me).

    Some 26 years, 38 trophies, including 13 Premier League titles and two Champions League Cups, and a legion of personal awards later, Sir Alex Ferguson retired. 

    The legendary Scot had just guided his team to a trophy for the last time and 2012-13 will always be remembered as the season Fergie gave it all up.

    In summing up the season that was, there is no better song than Don't You.

    Key Lyrics:

    Won't you come see about me?
    I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby

    Tell me your troubles and doubts
    Giving me everything inside and out and
    Love's strange so real in the dark
    Think of the tender things that we were working on

    Slow change may pull us apart
    When the light gets into your heart, baby

    Don't You Forget About Me
    Don't Don't Don't Don't
    Don't You Forget About Me

    Will you stand above me?
    Look my way, never love me
    Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
    Down, down, down

    Will you recognize me?
    Call my name or walk on by
    Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
    Down, down, down, down

    Hey, hey, hey, hey
    Ohhhh.....

    Don't you try to pretend
    It's my feeling we'll win in the end
    I won't harm you or touch your defenses
    Vanity and security

    Don't you forget about me
    I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
    Going to take you apart
    I'll put us back together at heart, baby

    Don't You Forget About Me
    Don't Don't Don't Don't
    Don't You Forget About Me

    As you walk on by
    Will you call my name?
    As you walk on by
    Will you call my name?
    When you walk away

    Or will you walk away?
    Will you walk on by?
    Come on - call my name
    Will you call my name?