WWE Manual: Greg Bush's Idea of How to Run Raw: Backlash
The night is here, kiddies. Backlash is upon us. Tonight we have some important matches.
1) IC Title match: C.M. Punk vs. Rey Mysterio (Steel Cage)
2) Women's Title: Candice vs. Maryse
3) #1 Contender's match: Randy Orton vs. John Cena (Stips: If Orton wins, Cena becomes D-rate. If Cena wins, Legacy splits and Steph is fired.)
4) WWE Title Match: Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels
5) World Tag Title Match Extreme TLC: Cryme Tyme vs. Irish Curse vs. APA vs. Priceless vs. Ziggy and Braddock vs. Golden Boyz
King: Oh my gosh Cole, tonight we have five hellacious matches that will put the other shows to rest!
Cole: I don't know King. ECW and Smackdown have amazing matches set up and it will be tough to compete.
King: What the Hell is wrong with you? Support your brand, you flipper.
Cole: Did you just call me a...
Rey Mysterio vs CM Punk: IC Title
CM Punk is on the Titantron: King, Cole, shut the Hell up! Rey Mysterio, tonight, you have to face the prince of punk, the straightedge superstar CM Punk!
I have shown my dominance since day one in this company, and I became a triple crown champion in less than a year! Rey, you don't stand a chance!
Rey comes out with some type of cultural paint on his mask. The crowd is screaming for Rey. When he gets in the cage, the lights go out.
CM Punk's voice can be heard as if being played on a tape.
"Are you ready...to be Punked? Are you ready...to be Punked? Are you ready...to be Punked?" The lights come back on and Punk is standing on top of the cage. The ref starts the match and CM Punk jumps down to the bottom. CM Punk has just beaten Rey Mysterio...oddly enough.
King: Wait a minute! What the Hell just happened?
Cole: CM Punk just...just "punked" Mysterio out of the title.
CM Punk: Haha. Rey, I told you before. I am smarter than you. I am stronger than you. I am better than you. You just got Pu~
Dolph Ziggler just came down and hit Punk with the Dawn of Dolph. The cage has been risen, and he tosses Punk back in and sets him up on the ropes. Rey hits a sick 619, causing Punk to stumble into a Braddock Lariat! After that Rey drops the dime with a leg drop.
Rey: No my friend. Tonight it is you who was punked!
King: Well, I don't know what just happened, but I like what I saw!
Cole: Damn straight! Punk got exactly what he deserved!
Women's Title: Candice vs Maryse
Candice comes out to the ring showing off the gold. She's screaming at the fans that she is unbeatable. She gets in the ring and Maryse's music comes on. She is nowhere to be found, and Candice grabs a mic.
Candice: Well, I guess that the little bitch couldn't make it.
Just as she says this Maryse gets out from under the ring. She gets in and spears Candice. She stomps on Candice and tells the announcer to ring the bell. Candice looks stunned, and Maryse picks her up. She tosses her into the corner and hits a turnbuckle dropkick straight to Candice's head. She falls over, seemingly unconscious.
Maryse gets ready for the French Kiss, but Candice lands an uppercut straight to her jaw. Maryse is knocked to the outside.
When she is taken out Candice goes up to the ref and distracts him. When he does, a mysterious man in face paint comes down and hits Maryse with a chair. He tosses her back in the ring and gets out.
Candice goes for the pin. 1..2..No! Maryse didn't give up! Candice sets up for the Candywrapper, but Maryse ducks and hits the French Kiss. 1..2..3!
Maryse was hit by a mysterious superstar and still wins the title!
Maryse: Haha, Candice, Candice, Candice. You think you're the only one who can persuade men to do what you want? I saw you talking to "him" and I got to him after you. He didn't actually hit me. And because you're basically...a dumb bimbo, I am the NEW WOMEN'S CHAMPION!!
King: Well...hopefully we find out something about this tomorrow night...
Cole: Yes...well, on to the next match.
#1 Contender's match: John Cena vs Randy Orton
"I hear voices in my head" Orton comes out to the ring with that arrogant walk that makes him seem unbeatable. He looks cocky and ready to take out the Chain Gang Commander.
John Cena comes down in a Hum-V with Trademarc. Both men stare down Orton, who doesn't look impressed. Cena gets in and gives Orton the thumbs down signal.
Orton starts the match with a clothesline, followed by a series of stomps to the body. He picks up the head, and applies a neck wrench. Cena is trying to fight out of it but Orton has a tight grip on it. He digs his chin into Cena's cranium, causing more pain and applying more pressure. Cena grabs the ropes and Orton lets go.
Orton pulls him to the middle of the ring and gets up top. Cena stands up and Orton hits a diving cross body. 1..2..No. Orton picks him up and sets up for the O-Zone! (Yep, I went old school for Orton.) He hits it! He goes for the pin but Cena rolls him up. 1..2..Orton breaks out. Orton gets up as soon as Cena does. He tries to hit another clothesline, but Cena picks him up and lands a huge spinebuster.
He sets up for a dropkick from the top rope, which he hits. Orton is knocked clear across the ring. He picks him up and cranks his neck, followed by a modified fisherman suplex. 1..2..Orton kicks out. He puts Orton in the corner and tries to land the big 10. 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10. He gets off and throws him over with a hiptoss.
Cena gets pumped, and hi-fives Trademarc. He turns around to a DDT. Orton pulls him over and drops his knees on Cena's head. He looks like he's getting ready for an RKO, but before he can Cena rolls outside.
He tries to take a break but the crowd begins to boo. Orton jumps over with a vault press and takes out both Cena and Trademarc. He tosses Cena back in. He applies a leglock.
Cena is holding on, barely. He tries to get to the ropes but can't move their. He kicks Orton in the head and gets out.
He lands a Protoplex, followed by a Five-Knuckle Shuffle. He sets up for the F-U. Orton gets picked up, but when Cena tosses him over, Orton shifts his weight where he is put in front of Cena and hits an RKO! 1..2..3! Orton just beat Cena!
King: Wow, what a finish! I've never seen that. It looked like Cena tried an F-U. It turned into an F-5 attempt instead which Orton turned into an RKO for the win!
Cole: What a way to end an amazing match. And now, Orton can cash in his title shot any time he wants.
King: Not only that, Cena has to start at the bottom just like when he was a rookie.
Cole: Actually, when he was a rookie he took on Kurt Angle and almost beat him.
King: Well, he has to start at the bottom. So shut up, Cole.
World Heavyweight Title Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H
Triple H comes out with the crown on his head. He is trying to intimidate Shawn. It doesn't work well, because Shawn comes out with a X-Box controller and a rolling screen. It shows S-v-R 2009 with Shawn hitting the Sweet Chin Music on Triple H. 1..2..3. Shawn wins! In the game anyway...
Shawn gets in and he and Hunter shake hands. The ref starts it and Shawn flies across with a forearm. Hunter gets up and is put into a headlock, but that doesn't last long because he tosses him into the ropes. Shawn comes back and Hunter tosses him over with a back body drop. He stands over him and does the D-X sign.
He applies a headlock on Shawn. Shawn doesn't stay in long as he fights up, and punches Hunter with three right hands. Hunter stumbles back, and Shawn knocks him to the ground. The crowd is cheering Triple H and Shawn Michaels.
Soon it forms into a D-X chant. Shawn puts Hunter in his inverted figure-4 leg lock. Hunter is in the middle of the ring and has some ground to make up before he can do anything.
Shawn is putting all the pressure that he can and it's killing his opponent. Hunter works his way to the ropes, and Shawn breaks the hold at four. He taunts him and when he gets up, Shawn tries to throw him down with a body slam, but Hunter turns it into a reverse atomic drop. He throws in some right hands and then hits the Double-A spinebuster.
Hunter then drops his knees on Shawn's head, then he sets up for the Pedigree. He kicks Shawn in the gut, but Shawn reverses the Pedigree into the back body drop. He gets up and Shawn hits the flying forearm. He gets on top, and jumps off with the Heartbreak Elbow! The crowd is pumping and they're screaming "Sweet Chin Music!" Shawn sets it up and...RKO!
Orton ran down and hit an RKO on Michaels. the Ref calls for the bell but he tells him he's cashing in the shot! He punts Triple H and punts Shawn. He RKO's both members of D-X and pins both men at the same time. 1..2..3! Randy Orton is the new World Heavyweight Champion!
King: What the Hell was that? That was one of the greatest matches I've ever seen, and Randy Orton destroys it! I like surprises, I mean, we've had a surprise in every match so far, but this is insane!
Cole: It's ridiculous King. Why haven't we had a clean match yet? This is un-called for!
King: Well Cena and Orton had a clean match...but Orton had to ruin the night with his RKO, although it is fun to watch!
World Tag Title TLC Match: Cryme Tyme vs Golden Boys vs Ziggy and Braddock vs Priceless vs Irish Curse vs APA
King: Well, at least this match can't get more screwed up than it already is Michael. We have a six-team TLC match for the Tag Titles!
Cole: It's amazing, I think Shane made a great move on this, and this will do nothing but increase the strength of the Tag Team Division.
APA comes down first with a cart of weapons. Farooq is holding a chair in his hand and Bradshaw is holding a noose. They get in the ring and the next team comes out. It's Irish Curse. Finlay and SOS bring down their shillelaghs and in the other hands are kendo sticks.
Next are Ziggy and Braddock who look pumped after what they did to CM Punk earlier. They come in the ring with no weapons, screaming that all they need are their fists. The Golden Boys come down to the ring. Goldust is bringing gold canes and Goldberg is looking at the tables by the ring.
Priceless walks out next, with Randy Orton. Legacy looks more powerful already with the World Heavyweight title in Orton's hands. Priceless is celebrating with their champion when all of the sudden...
"Yo yo yo" Cryme Tyme comes out with the tag titles and the guns they had at Wrestlemania! Legacy looks unaffected by this, but John Cena comes out of nowhere and attacks Orton.
They fight off stage and Cryme Tyme hits Priceless with the tag belts. Then they start shooting them with the paintball guns. Priceless high-tails it and goes to save their leader.
The match has begun and APA is fighting off the Irish Curse. Farooq hits SOS with a chair, while Bradshaw boots Finlay out the ring. He turns around and Braddock hits a Hellacious Braddock Lariat! Dolph does a high flying jumping leg drop onto him and Bradshaw has to roll outside.
Cryme Tyme makes their way to the ring and starts hitting their opponents with the paint balls as well. Farooq dodges and a paintball hits Cole in the face!
King: Hahaha, wow, that right there is the people's money's worth!
Farooq runs in for a big boot, but Shad catches him with his STO! Farooq tries to roll out but Shad picks him up for the G-9 with JTG, but he is taken out by SOS. He jumps in and hits him with the shillelagh. He picks him up and hits the Celtic Driver!
Shad throws Farooq down and clotheslines SOS. He turns around and Farooq hits him with a trash can lid that was in the cart.
He picks up SOS and throws him over on to a set up table. He doesn't break it, but then he tosses over both JTG and Shad, which breaks all three men though. Farooq gets the ladder and sets it up.
He climbs it and almost takes down the belt, but Ziggy gets up the ladder and punches Farooq. He then sets up for the Dawn of Dolph, and connects all the way down!
Braddock gets to the top, but Finlay knocks over the ladder. He falls onto the outside of the ring. He calls Hornswoggle in and he gets a step ladder. He drags Dolph to the middle of the ring, but the Golden Boys come out of hiding with a huge spear by Goldberg! Goldust picks up Hornswoggle and throws him outside.
He puts Dolph in the corner, clamps a chair in the Golden Globes, and runs in to connect with the Shattered Dreams! Dolph falls over screaming and coughing up blood. Goldberg picks up the ladder and tells Goldust to get up the ladder while he protects him. That sounds like a good plan. JTG and Shad get taken out, and even though SOS and Finlay hit him with the shillelaghs, He slams both men hard on the mat.
Goldust is starting to pull them down, but Braddock runs up the ladder Shelton Benjamin style and hits the Lariat! Goldberg watches in disbelief as his partner is knocked out of the ring by a flying Braddock. Goldberg looks around at the destruction, and sees that there is no one to take the belts down except him.
He gets on the ladder, but someone has set up a table beside it. He doesn't notice, and Dolph Ziggler jumps up and hits the Dawn of Dolph through the table! Both men are out cold! The crowd begins to scream. The scream is getting louder, and we see why. Priceless has just run into the ring. They get up top and grab the belts together!
Winner and New Tag Team Champions... Priceless!!!
King: Oh my God, Cole! Legacy has just taken control of Raw in one night! Orton has the World title and Priceless has the tag titles!
Cole: Well, I'm not happy about it...
King: Oh, shut up! These men are the future of the business. Respect them!
This has been a Bushboy Inc Production
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