UFC 159 served up the weakest UFC preliminary card in recent memory.
It was weak on paper, and it wasn't much better in execution, as fighters appeared disinterested, sluggish and downright outclassed throughout the evening's four fights on FX Saturday evening.
A rarity in MMA at any level, the prelims featured no full three-round decisions, but no fight was incredibly well contested and competed. Furthermore, no finish was overly impressive, and the result was a forgetful preliminary card for the ages.
Start the slideshow to see how these fights stack up, and Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you for wanting to do so.
Go home, Kevin Mulhall. You're drunk.
Mulhall surprised everyone—including the two fighters inside the octagon at the time—when he halted this fight late in Round 3 following an inadvertent eye poke from Ovince St. Preux.
Villante did not get his five minutes to recover, he did not get a doctor's opinion—he just got a rare majority technical decision loss smeared on his resume.
To be fair, this fight was awful long before the ridiculous "finish." Both fighters looked gassed, and neither guy seemed to possess the skills or gusto to pursue a finish (or even a takedown, for that matter), and I personally am not beating myself up over the fact that I missed a couple more minutes of these two inside the Octagon.
A perfect case study in terrible refereeing and lackluster MMA action, St. Preux vs. Villante was everything the UFC does not want televised to millions of viewers across the globe.
If the finish of St. Preux vs. Villante was not disappointing enough for you, I present Rustam Khabilov vs. Yancy Medeiros.
A sambo master who starched Vinc Pinchel via brutal suplex knockout in his UFC debut, Khabilov represents one of the most intriguing prospects under the UFC banner, and his sophomore performance was met with giddy anticipation.
At UFC 159, we got it, and it was tragically cut short by an injury.
Medeiros dislocated his thumb as he braced himself during a suplex attempt by Khabilov in Round 1, and referee Dan Miragliotta halted the contest after the doctor deemed the injury too serious for Medeiros to continue.
While the official result shows a TKO victory for Khabilov, this fight proved very little about either fighter.
Let's run this one back in the near future, shall we?
Bryan Caraway stepped up on short notice to take on powerful bantamweight striker Johnny Bedford at UFC 159 Saturday evening, and Mr. Miesha Tate absolutely delivered.
Make fun of the guy for dating a great fighter in Tate (like I just did—shame on me, right?), but he is for real, and he proved that fact against Bedford Saturday evening.
Caraway dominated the grappling exchanges in this fight, and he wore Bedford down for 14 minutes before securing a last-second guillotine choke that forced his foe to tap out.
For Caraway, the win was arguably the best of his career; for Bedford, the loss sets him back tremendously in an already-crowded division.
Sometimes a fighter needs to take a risk to jump-start his or her career, and Caraway's willingness to step up to the plate and take on Bedford on just a few days' notice may very well put him on the fast track to some future high-profile bouts.
Sara McMann looked incredible in her UFC debut against Sheila Gaff.
While this fight will not go down in history as one of the greatest contests of all time due to its one-sided nature, McMann showed why her Olympic wrestling pedigree is not to be taken lightly inside the cage.
Gaff had no answers for McMann's takedowns and smothering top control, and the bout ended almost before it started after McMann secured the crucifix position in Round 1 and rained punch after indefensible punch to Gaff's dome.
McMann shone as the brightest star in an otherwise dull preliminary card, and for that alone, she secures top honors on this list.