Oh, to be a Lions fan.
Stafford, who was rated by most analysts as the top QB in a mediocre draft that was described by some as "a crap shoot," will be the highest paid player in the NFL.
Detroit had a choice between an elite trio of linebackers and a so-so quarterback, and they took the so-so quarterback.
I have a Charles Rogers jersey, a Shawn Rogers jersey, and a Kevin Jones jersey. I have three Joey Harrington jerseys (I'm a glutton for punishment). If Stafford can even manage to lead the Lions to a winning season (heaven forbid the playoffs), I'll buy a Stafford jersey.
He's guaranteed $41.7 million to lead the worst football team in the history of the NFL. That's more guaranteed money than Albert Haynesworth got.
I take it back. He's guaranteed to make $41.7 million to learn how to be a backup quarterback, just like Charlie Batch (Steelers), Harrington (third string backup, Saints), Kitna (Cowboys), and Orlovsky (Texans).
I hope he has padded pants because he's destined to be riding the pine for another team as soon as he sets the next record for most sacks taken in a season, or picks, or both. I'm thinking he'll probably end up in Cleveland.
I wonder if Stafford can play the piano? If not, maybe Joey Harrington can teach him some lessons. Obviously, Joey didn't teach the Lions any lessons.
I have a guarantee of my own to make. Stafford will be Detroit's next big bust. Take it to the bank, buddy.
I had written this article before the actual draft. I'm pleased to note that the Lions have addressed their glaring need at Tight End by drafting Brandon Pettigrew with their second pick in the first round. Just to reiterate, the Lions essentially traded Roy Williams for Brandon Pettigrew. <sigh>